Friday, October 21, 2016

A Word: Empath

I awoke this morning to find the most beautiful spider web gracing the glass door in my office. It glistened with fluid movement as it danced in the breeze of the early morning and the sun shown down upon it, in all its gloriously radiant countenance.

And it got me to thinking, reminiscing really, about the past and where it meets the present and then wanders off into the future. It's so much like the point where two glistening threads meet on a web, you see, because they sustain each other like a bridge through time pointing out where we have been upon our journeys in life, where we are now, and where we will potentially be in the future.

And I am reminded of one particular moment in my life...the moment I discovered the word Empath. I was about 16 or 17 at the time. Up till that point, I had considered myself overly sensitive or highly emotional. That one word changed my way of seeing myself, the world around me, and ultimately how I interacted within that world, though. It became a shroud I could wear to comfort myself, particularly when others didn't seem to be able to or want to understand me.

And I wanted to think, then as I do wholeheartedly now, that there was a greater purpose to being what I was and am. This is because, in the cold light of reality when I sat amongst friends, family, lovers or strangers, I felt alone almost always unless I was reaching out to someone empathically. Being blessed enough to be allowed to share in their emotions, their insights, their perceptions, and everything else about them was what made an almost unbearable life worth living. In that sharing, I never felt alone.

But there was always something missing; a sense that I did not matter as much as those who took precedence over my own emotions, insights and perceptions. I felt like in giving so much I was losing what little of myself I understood. I didn't really understand myself back then, so it just felt like I was slowly slipping away beneath the cover of constantly giving to others. And I tried to imagine that I was happy, even though this was slowly happening. I pretended everything was okay.

And then one day, I looked up and there was no one left to empathize with, no one left to hold back that sinking feeling of losing myself so completely. Everyone had moved on but me. I wanted to blame them at first, thinking about how they'd used me to get the help they needed and then had left me alone. But I couldn't, because I knew, even though I did not know myself well then, that I had projected that kind of person to them: a confidant, a counselor, a teacher, a friend who appeared extremely strong and confident, and who didn't seem to need anyone to lean on for themselves. Always putting myself second above everyone else finally came back to haunt me with the whisper..."You are truly alone now. So what will you do?". And what did I do? I fell into the darkness...the abyss.

Some Empaths seek isolation as a means of coping with the stress and anxiety of sharing other people's emotions and/or emotional states, but it eventually became a proverbial death sentence to me. Being alone, to me, was far worse than death at that point in my mind. And so I fell...endlessly it seemed, into depression, thoughts of suicide, and so much pain that I can not describe it with words alone.

As you can see, since I am indeed writing this now, I did survive by the grace of...God, The Goddess....The Universe...whatever you wish to call it. In another single moment, much like the epiphany of the word Empath, when it couldn't have gotten any darker and I couldn't have fallen any further, except into truly physical death, something changed within me and gave me the strength to....finally stop falling and to start to climb my way out of the darkness.

Much like a spider web that glistens in the sun, sometimes there are shimmering moments in my life that shine brilliantly against the backdrop of my journey. And then there are others, as when the sun shines in another direction and the delicate latticework of the web all but disappears in the shadows that cascade across the land, that are quiet moments, sometimes peaceful and sometimes sorrowful. Each of them, individually are interwoven into one another, bound into a singular journey....my journey....your journey....with unlimited possibilities surging outwards toward the infinite future.

Your Journey....Unlimited Possibilities


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Believe


As I read the news, My spine began to tremble, A strange sensation creeped in my arms and they became restless. Anger and fear confused me and I crossed my limbs. For several days, that news haunted me. How that helpless girl was raped and how her life ended in coma. News like that is everywhere now on facebook, tv, newspapers, rumors, discussions.

Do people suddenly started becoming violent ? Or people are supplied with unnecessary information? Are we safe? Are our children safe? What will happen to earth? This over population, Genetically engineered viruses? epidemics? global warming? porn? So many...

Being an empath and sometimes an emotional sponge, we absorb energies around us. Many people while they read such news they experience the emotions of that situation and some even experience physical reactions to that situation. Eventually leading to suffering.

Our history is filled with blood and violence. There is no need for a debate whether Monsters existed today or yesterday? They were always there. But it is true that the information that is advertised today is filled with fear. Sometimes we can avoid such news, but completely eliminating the www era of information is impossible. People are losing hope and they are scared.

Lets not lose hope. Lets raise ourselves above this. And lets start believing and tame our fears. When ever you read such news or when ever you are around a person who is confused and scared and lost its hope, Please transmit hope and make them feel better, you don't need to converse verbally but internally transmit that energy.

Do something to help them overcome those negative emotions. Some people help people in need, while others donate money, If you cannot do anything like that, just pray and wish and more than that believe. Don't lose hope. Everyone is filled with fear, but it is not a solution.

Being an empath can be a curse and it can be turned into a blessing too. We are like transmitters. We not only can receive but also transmit information.We are capable of transmitting our negative energies too, So being an empath, I want you to believe and transmit the positive instead.  

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Take charge.


The best path to inner peace is by conquering your emotions. I'm not suggesting eliminating them entirely- I'm not /quite/ foolish enough to think humanity can get rid of the one thing that makes such tragic, flawed, yet impossibly beautiful creatures. There is a way to make your emotions work /for/ you, rather than letting them rule you.

It comes down to two simple words: everything fades. Here's a simple example.

You come home after a long day of work, only to find someone has broken into your home, stolen your television and replaced it with a massive, wall-spanning, HD monstrosity- clearly an upgrade. Your surprise benefactor has even gone to the trouble of hooking up cable for you. As you examine your new shiny, you find a note explaining that said excessively large television will only last a month before it breaks down on you.

One month. Do you spend that month worrying about the ultimate fate of your new precious? Do you spend that month in anger, silently cursing your 'benefactor' for not gifting you a more reliable model? Or do you make the most of that month, enjoying your new best friend and adamantly refusing to get off the couch for anything short of a house fire?

Of course, you only have a month and of course, you'll have to find a replacement when the time comes... But that's life. In most cases, we don't have a set 'expiration date' on the events we experience. They come out of the blue and smack us in the face with some valuable life lesson or another. It's up to each of us to avoid being lost in the storm of emotions and use them to learn those lessons.

Every emotion has its place, and each has something to teach you. Don't be afraid of those lessons. If they turn out to be less than pleasant? Well, life can be less than pleasant at times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Above all else, don't be afraid to take a risk.

To put it simply, emotions can be either your most powerful tool or your greatest enemy. It's all a matter of who's in charge.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Arachnid: Potentials Of Perception


              It was a cool balmy spring day as Emily sat with her friend, Robert, in a couple of overstuffed mix-matched chairs, drinking coffee and talking.  It was their weekly ritual to stake out a place for themselves around lunch time at the local coffee shop.  Sunlight streamed into the tiny shop through its floor to ceiling windows, glinting off the glass tabletop between Emily and Robert.  The sudden flash of light instantly reminded her that she had something she desperately wanted to talk to Robert about.  Reaching over, Emily caught her friend’s attention by waving her hand excitedly in his face.  Seeing him look up from his coffee mug, she started relating her story to him.  

Abuse: A Memory Lost To Time


           

There was a time in my life, which dwells far into my history, even as it feels as though it were only yesterday.  I was fresh out of high school and just out of a horribly turbulent and abusive relationship.  But despite my escape, it still ate away at everything positive I saw inside myself.  It eroded my self-esteem and stymied my dreams, dropping the last shreds of hope I had into a chaotic abyss that I subsequently lost myself in.  During that bleak time in my life, while I drowned in a sea of overwhelming emotions and confusion, I rediscovered something I had lost.  It came in the guise of a child, shining like a beacon in the darkness.  That sliver of gently illuminated hope offered me a reason to go on living and a reason to push forward in my life, instead of just lying in the muck as I was so used to doing.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Perspective Ramblings: The Fall Of Man

I have watched, over the few years I've been alive, the suffering people go through.  And often, to often if I may say so, I've found myself wondering what's the point.  Why do people get sick?  Why do people suffer at the hands of other people....abuses so numerous that it would take to many blogs to list.  Why do people wither away slowly, only to find their last moments engulfed in an unending fear of the unknown?

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Empaths & Sexuality: A Look At Empath Sexual Dysfunction

Let's talk about sexuality and being an Empath/Highly Sensitive Person.  This is an issue we all suffer from, in one way or another, and yet tend to be to afraid, nervous, anxiety ridden, or embittered to talk about.  And it's one that is extremely important when it comes to being able to have healthy relationships and a healthy self esteem.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Empathy In Excess

A dear friend of mine recently showed me a question someone had posted on the internet, asking a very interesting question about Empaths.  Does excessive empathy, or more to the point  being an Empath, mean that you will be lonely for the rest of your life because you give more and/or feel more than other people? This is a complex question, so lets explore it a bit.

Friday, January 13, 2012

10 Tips To Being More Assertive

While reading a blog I discovered this list of tips to help one be more assertive without being aggressive.  I felt they were really worthy of reposting here. Below are 10 tips that can help you be more assertive.  Enjoy!

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Empathy Of Nothing

"I am nothing.  I am nobody.  I am garbage.  I am a waste of space.  The air that I breath is wasted and would be better spent on someone more worthy than I.  My very existence has no purpose....no meaning...other than to be a burden upon others."

It's comments like these that repel people.  It smacks of low self esteem and low self worth, doesn't it?  These are the words, often whispered in the voices of those who have cut us down verbally before, that repeat, almost like a mantra, in our heads in order to hold us back.

The ironic thing about this is upon hearing these comments, whether from someone else's lips or from our own brains, our survival skills kick in.  A kind of flight or fight response ensues, in which we deny it emphatically and jump to our own defense.  And in so doing, we seek to convince ourselves of it's untruth, much more than others, because the simple accusation laid to bear is enough to crack the safe box of reality we wrap ourselves in, where we deny any flaws or issues we might have.  It hides the question that no one, not even those considered to have high self esteem, wishes to face.  What if those whispers are right?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Sunrise

Inquisitive thought inspired by the stop of time
Long lost meaning bleeding through the pages line by line
The ink gives structure to an otherwise confusing reality,
Drawing blood from the perception of mortality while
Simultaneously existing in a world fixed in duality.

An angel smiles at the dawning of the day
A voiceless whisper illuminates me back to guide my way
Her crystal tears wash away yesterdays sin
Sweeps it up in in the soft and gentle hands of the wind,
Never Again to reflected on the face of my kin.

Purple highlights entangles in a blaze of orange glow
Minute by minute, second by second I began to let go
Echoes of a dream reflected in her shine
Line by line Illustrated in this painted rhyme

Moment by moment the constellations began to die
Your song the hymn as the stars start to cry
A vision of light rips realities seam
A path illuminated by a crystal beam
Shows me the way back from this dream

Ever so slowly I began to understand
Your voice was the light that took me by the hand
Twisting my perception you continuously call me home
Behind the restrictions of life that have become overgrown
Reminding me always... your never alone.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Empath Community and I

About four years ago I was looking up the word Empath, hoping to find a place where I could meet other people like myself. I did that periodically over the years I've been online...usually to no avail. But this time I came across a place called Empath Community.

It's owner embraced me, as did it's members. And after sometime, it felt like a second home and my connection with those people much like a close nit family. We laughed together. We cried together. And we learned with one another through study and sharing. Even now, years later, each and every one of those people, from owner to lurkers, still mean a great deal to me for what each of them, in turn, offered to me by way of friendship, compassion, understanding and friendship. They were my teachers and my guides along the road of self discovery that I walked. And quite a few of them were the inspiration for many of the blogs on EP.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Is Empathy Really a Gift?

Is Empathy Really a Gift?


     A lot of people believe Empathy is a gift. I don’t go that far, I just identify with the term in a lot of different ways but the bottom line is that empathy is a natural part of me. I could chalk all this up to semantics but in my experience, people really embody the term empathy. This spiritual actualization deserves a closer look.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Deconstructing the Highly Sensitive Person: Part Two

Earlier I wrote the first part of this blog series, you can find it here. This blog is more of a personal nature. I examined the archetypal empath from many perspectives, mostly scientific and psychological, but there was very little of an actual HSP inside. This blog is the other half. The yin to it's yang.

A more apt title would probably be: Confessions of  a Highly Sensitive Person


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Spare some change?

“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
-Mahatma Ghandi

The word 'change' frightens many people. Maybe it's because of its connection to the word 'chaos', maybe it's because of humanity's innate fear of the unknown. Let's be honest here, we're all afraid that one day, we'll wake up and our life as we know it will be turned on its head. People naturally prefer the safety and comfort of what they know over the vast, deep, dark unknown.

Here's an interesting fact about change, though: add the word 'life' as a prefix, and suddenly it becomes much less terrifying. This simple word, once synonomous with chaos and unpredictability, becomes synonomous with growth and personal development. If stagnation is the greatest enemy of mankind, most of us seek that one experience in life that 'throws open the doors' so to speak. Call it what you will: enlightenment, a personal connection to God, the love of your friends and family, or simply the realization that maybe, just maybe, you don't have it as bad as you think. It all boils down to this: we all seek that one pivotal life-changing moment.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Bullying: Reclaiming Your Journey

When I was 16 and in high school, I had a boyfriend come to my door and tell me he was going to run away and commit suicide.  After he left, my parents woke up and found me panicking and made me call the police. Soon after that the police pulled me out of class to talk to me.  It was then that I found out he was a chronic runaway who was heavily abused....and that he wasn't going to kill himself.  So they wanted his whereabouts.

Because of what I did, I became a pariah amongst my friends.  I was ostracized and gossiped about.  And it reached its pinnacle one day at lunch right by the main office of the school.  A group of about 20 students from the crowd I hung out with came up to me simply to tell me what a piece of crap I was.

I stood there, with one friend by my side, while these people verbally ripped me to shreds.  And the only thing I can say is that I never once let them see me cry, even though it crushed me like nothing else had up until that time.  I stood my ground and only let loose a torrent of tears after they were away from me and couldn't see me shed them.  This was because I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing just how much they had wounded me.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Journey To Closure

Recent events in my life have brought me to the point where I must acknowledge I am searching for solace and am in need of closure. And it's had me thinking....in a broader sense...of how each of us comes to a point in our lives where we are forced to seek closure to toxic relationships and oppressive situations. These relationships and situations do nothing but tear us down, slowly eroding our self esteem, our personal boundaries, and most important of all, our emotional stability and mental health.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lying and The Empathic Truthsayer

The Truthsayer

An interesting byproduct of being highly empathic seems to be that one can become a sort of truthsayer...or living lie detector.  What this means is that the highly empathic person can easily discern whether or not a person is telling the truth or not and if they are dissembling in respect to motives, feelings and/or beliefs.

This byproduct, as it were, seems to be derived from the Empath's ability to read another person's emotions and emotional states.  In other words, because a highly empathic person is well attuned toward sensing and feeling the overall emotional state of all of those around themselves, almost constantly, the person in question begins to develop a deeper interpersonal intelligence.  Interpersonal intelligence is, by definition, the ability to interact with others, understand them, and interpret their behavior.  Individuals who exhibit a level of interpersonal intelligence,  have the particular ability to perceive the moods, temperaments, motivations and intentions of others.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Trust & Empathy

On this website, we often talk about empathy and all of the different issues that are associated with it, directly or indirectly. One such issue, we generally only touch upon indirectly, is that of trust. You see, empathy and trust go hand in hand as a platform for effective communication, understanding and relationships.

Empathy is about understanding another person's point of view. And part of the empathic process is about establishing trust through listening, without judgment, and offering understanding, even when one personally disagrees with the other person. All of this is done in order to develop a rapport with another person, in order to interact with them on equal footing.

In earnestly listening, without judgment, and offering understanding to the other person, even if we personally disagree with them, we offer them a level of respect as we communicate effectively with them. And respect, by meeting others on equal footing, is a basis for establishing both trust and empathy.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Emotional Exploration Of The Empath

As an Empath, I've always been fascinated with the complete array of emotions that exist and can be expressed within the human life cycle.  Watching as emotions, whether consciously realized or not, beget actions and reactions.

I believe, for our own personal benefit and development, it is very important to have an understanding of all of these emotions and how we are affected by them, because we tend to be so sensitive toward them.  So let's take a look at them, so that we can learn to identify each emotion and it's meaning, as well as, how it affects us, as Empaths.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Empaths: The Hero's Journey

A lovely woman asked me recently for a story about something called "The Hero's Journey".  And this got me thinking about how this archetype applies to those who are Empaths.  So I thought it might be interesting to explore this topic in more detail.  So let's delve into it a bit, shall we?

The Archetype

Firstly, before we delve deeper into this subject, we must understand exactly what an archetype is.  Wikipedia describes it as:
An archetype is an original model of a person, ideal example, or a prototype upon which others are copied, patterned, or emulated; a symbol universally recognized by all. In psychology, an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behavior. 
In philosophy, archetypes since Plato at least, refer to ideal forms of the perceived or sensible things or types. 
In the analysis of personality, the term archetype is often broadly used to refer to

  1. a stereotype—personality type observed multiple times, especially an oversimplification of such a type,
  2. an epitome—personality type exemplified, especially the "greatest" such example
  3. a literary term to express details.
Archetype refers to a generic version of a personality. In this sense "mother figure" may be considered an archetype and may be identified in various characters with otherwise distinct (non-generic) personalities. 
Archetypes are likewise supposed to have been present in folklore and literature for thousands of years, including prehistoric artwork. The use of archetypes to illuminate personality and literature was advanced by Carl Jung early in the 20th century, who suggested the existence of universal contentless forms that channel experiences and emotions, resulting in recognizable and typical patterns of behavior with certain probable outcomes.
In essence, an archetype is a prototype or model from which something is based.  As it said, an archetype is a generic form used to represent personalities.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Deconstructing the Highly Sensitve Person: Part One

There are a great many perspectives to take when it comes to Highly Sensitive People and Empaths. For one, you can see it through a psychic lens, watching the flow of energy from one point to another, or you can view it through a religious lens, the ability of discernment. However, for the scope of this blog, I'll take a scientific and psychological perspective. I'll break down the causes and effects of being Highly Sensitive, as well as examine exactly how it all works to make one empathic, as opposed to empathetic.