Tuesday, March 24, 2009

An Empath's Story

I'm guessing you probably came to this discussion to read a story, perhaps mine, but alas no such luck. This isn't about my story. Its about yours.

Tony had a great idea with the group about writing your own story. But how many of you are confident enough to do it? How many of you know yourselves well enough to be able to do it, without simply dictating off a bland list of experiences wrapped up with a bunch of emotions you have dissociated yourself from? Its a little like getting up in front of the class to read, in a monotone voice full of lackluster emotion. Blah!

This reaction stems back to standing in front of the mirror. The Blah affect is almost the same reaction as you looking away from your mirror image. The story seems foreign and not your own, just like your image in the mirror.

You could be wondering why I bring this subject up time and time again. It might seem like I'm being a nag (which I have no qualms against being when necessary). But the reality goes a bit deeper than my need to nag each of you. So let me ask you something.

Have you ever had a healthy romantic relationship? Have you ever had friendships that lasted for more than a few years? How is your relationship with your parents, your siblings, and the rest of your family?

Have you ever had an abusive catalyst in your life? What does this mean? It means a singular moment in time, which brought your life into focus.....perhaps awakening you to your empathic nature or awakening you to something equally as defining. And abusive catalyst is like a fisted punch straight to the heart, ripping it open, forcing it into a state of being it was not meant to be in. It is a violent awakening, leaving the soul to cope as best it can.

I've always believed that there are two types of Empaths, neither of which has to do with the type of empathy one uses or focuses on. Its about beginnings. And from those beginnings we learn the survival and coping skills we bring to the table now........today.

The first type is a natural born Empath. They are simply more inclined toward the Empathic disposition. We can call it genes, dna, evolution........or anything else under the sun, but the fact here is simply that they are born with it and retain it, even through the formative years of growth.

The second type is the one mentioned above. This person also has a predisposition toward Empathy, and yet they follow the normal course of human growth in their formative years, losing that ability to belong to their peer group. But then something happens, something traumatic, to force that fist through the wall erected over that empathic predisposition. It could be abuse. It could be a car accident. It could be a fire. It could be a death of a family member who was cherished. It could be as simple as being forced to move away from your best friend.

So in writing your story, where does your story as an Empath begin? Does it begin with a catalyst or has it always been there?

Can you write your own story? Each of these discussions has been offered up to teach you something about yourself, like bread crumbs leading you home. The types of intelligence test tells you how you focus on the world around you. The levels of Empathy discussion shows you how you interact with people and where you set your values (friends, lover, or family). The Empathic Victim and Empathic/Emotional Manipulator discussions were to show you what can happen if one is not vigilant.

Each of these is a piece in your puzzle ~ your grand voyage and epic journey. Can you put them together and discover you? Can you take a blah description and turn it into what it was....a journey with ups and downs, joys and trials, pain and sorrow.......and let us feel it along with you?

In doing that, you not only say to yourself, but also to us, that you are worth knowing and understanding. And that you are more than just the sum of your parts, more than just an Empath.

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