Friday, April 10, 2009

The Reclusive Empath

Its kind of an oxymoron to imagine an Empath feeling lonely, at least on the surface. Its a topic that tends to be skimmed over with very little discussion. Its a part of our lives we tend not to wish to share with anyone out of fear of judgment. But its also a very real issue for many of us, as well.

So here I wish to ask, are you lonely? Are you reclusive? Are you agoraphobic? Do you feel isolated from the world around you, no matter how many people stand around you, both stranger and friend/family?

All of these things make us feel as though we are different. It makes us feel set apart from the world we were born into. It changes our perspective to such a degree, that everything from the world around us to the face we see when we look at ourselves in the mirror, seems foreign.

What forces our loneliness to evolve into such behaviors as isolating oneself from others both mentally and physically, refusing deep and meaningful relationships and interactions with others, and even reach the point of being afraid to leave their own house? What turns a single feeling, into something that holds a visceral grip of fear over all of an Empath's life?

In asking these questions, I must also ask myself these questions, as well. Because even for me, there have been times when I shunned personal contact with others, and learned to prefer the indirect contact of the internet. It was less invasive and much easier to maintain a viable distance from others here. Where as, in person it could become so overwhelming to be around others that I would have panic attacks.

This is one of the hardest topics for an Empath to discuss, because it does not just ask about your loneliness. It also focuses on your interpersonal relationships. There are different types of interpersonal relationships, so to clarify, we are talking about our most intimate relationships or lack there of (ie., lover, best friend, and even family members).

Sadly, there is no cure all for this issue. It takes a long time to be able to work your way back into society and live a relatively normal life, after you've begun to isolate yourself from others. It takes recognizing and accepting your true self, a prominent wish to overcome your own fears, and a desire to begin living your own life once more, instead of simply surviving through it (with the constant threat of sinking and drowning hanging over your head like a sharpened blade).

That road, for us, begins with a single word, Empath, and everything that stems out of that word. From there we begin reevaluating our lives, both past and present, in order to understand if this is really what we are and what we have been suffering from since the beginnings of our lives. We look at traits, definitions, explanations, and different perspectives to try and understand, what has been a mysterious puzzle for us up until the actual recognition that arises out of the realization of the word Empath.

The next step, is to seek out others of like mind, so that you can get an affirmation that this truly exists. In so doing, you gain two things you did not have before: validation of your beliefs and the realization that you are not alone.

Know that there is always hope for all of us, even for those that become reclusive and isolated. Know that you are not alone in this issue. We all suffer from that sense of loneliness and seeing the world as a foreign place in which we do not belong. Knowing that is one of the first steps you will take in learning to heal yourself.

1 comment:

  1. I am alone but I am not Lonely. I retreat purely because I see no need for communication at a certain time in my life.
    I am reclusive and have had many past lives where I have lived a cloistered life in silence - my choice. I have been called a snob and standoffish because I never 'mixed' with people. I resented people entering my space and the thought of having to build a relationship with anyone is quite scary, I have a new circle of friends - all like me and even then I had to force myself to actually meet them. My old friends I value, they know about my need for solitude every now and again. My new friends feel my need.
    I have stopped worrying about what people think, I have gradually moved away from my comfort zone and back out into the real world.
    I wish I had found posts like this and sites years ago, I would have understood, moved on with my life. I got here where I am now mostly by myself, it was hard but I came out the other side practically unscathed.