Monday, August 31, 2009

The Hardest Thing For An Empath.........

The 'Hardest Thing For An Empath....' is an interesting topic, because in this discussion we will cover some of the things Empaths have the hardest time dealing with, so if your squeamish or find this discussion not to your taste, please feel free to read something else.

Its an important discussion, despite the discomfort it might cause some. Its important to realize the limitations one sets upon oneself, for whatever reason. This is particularly true when it comes to heightened emotions such as deep passion, intense rage, plummeting sadness, deep ingrained heart stopping fear, and emotions of the same ilk.

Its important to know where we draw the line at what we can handle for our own sanity. And its also important to understand what limitations stop us from helping certain types of people because they fall into these categories which we avoid at all costs. Sometimes its better to stay behind the line of our boundaries, for our own safety, and sometimes we must push ahead, beyond the walls we have so carefully erected in order to do what we are compelled to do. Knowing the difference between these two times is pivotal to helping others and still keeping ourselves whole as we work as Empaths.

This of super importance because sometimes there is a particular person that we focus on and want to help, but we end up running away from them because they exemplify something we have pushed passed our own limitations, so they are out of bounds. And then we become eaten up by guilt. We always come back to thinking about that person, and what we could have done, but didn't. And we are left feeling guilty and ashamed of our own inaction. (I say 'we' because this includes me)

So lets look at a few of the hardest things for an Empath, and see where we draw the line. And is that line one that should be crossed or one that should be kept in tact?

Please understand, though, that this is one subjective perspective on the topic and everyone is free to disagree if they wish. These are not rules that are set in stone, but information to help open you to new ideas about yourself, how you think, and how you work and interact with other people, on a normal and empathic level.

News Media
Most, but not all, Empaths tend to have an extremely hard time watching the news and reading printed news for any long duration of time, because of all of the global atrocities that happen on a daily basis in this world. And the news reports these things one after another, compounding the negative on top of the negative. For an Empath, its like dropping one brick after another on their big toe.

Because of this, quite a few Empaths tend to cut themselves off, almost all together or all together, from news media outlets like television news broadcasts, newspapers, and internet news websites. They tend to shy away from information with videos or images, more often than simply printed text news, because it is easier to disassociate from the situation when there is no visuals of the situation. Easier still, just to avoid it completely.

Gory Movies, Books, & Video Games
The premise here is much the same as the last one, because whether it is out of the imaginings of someone's mind or a stark vision of reality depicted on the news, an Empath is sensitive to the core emotions being depicted with in it. Horror, pain, suffering, trauma, and such are all things which touch an Empath at their center because they are based in a heightened state of emotion......that of fear and terror. And for an Empath, depending on how sensitive they are, there is no desensitizing to this kind of thing.

But there is a way to work through it, if one can find the core events which lead to this kind of sensitivity to certain subject matter and work through them. But I will focus more on that later on in this discussion.

Real Life Suffering
An Empath who tends to avoid the above things, will also tend to avoid real life suffering of these types in others. They will see someone that they know they can help, but turn away, because of that sensitivity they have which causes that person or their situation to be set beyond their limits our boundaries.

This can be universal or specialized toward a certain type of person or suffering. It can take the form of unacknowledged fear through avoidance, prejudice, and even malice when it is pushed to far into their faces, as well, because it cuts to close to the Empath's comfort zone and boundaries. And in its extreme, it can cause an Empath to become reclusive, isolating themselves from the world outside in order to keep their boundaries intact both physically and mentally.

The Hardest Thing For An Empath......

Is to step out of their comfort zone and see beyond the walls they've erected around themselves. Why? Because most, but not all, Empaths.........unlike the popular belief that it is a genetic occurrence......have had some kind of events in their lives that have literally punched a hole within them which make them feel and sense deeper, and as a result, shy away from what causes the trauma.

Seeing things like a woman being brutalized, a destroyed home due to a hurricane, a homeless person, or any other type of suffering is like looking into a mirror and seeing your own reflection. And Empaths are notorious for hating pictures of themselves and not being able to stand looking in a mirror for 30 seconds without looking away. Whether its one's own face, or the faces of others who are suffering, an untrained or unwilling Empath has trouble facing that reality.

But the reason you call yourself an Empath isn't because you feel other people's emotions, or just for that reason, is it? We are, all of us, Wounded Healers which means we have all been hurt in our lifetimes, in some way or another, which we then internalized, repressed and allowed to grow into a hole within us. And from that moment on we learned to instinctively put up barriers when anything came close to touching that hidden shame, pain, or locked down beast we could not imagine taming.

Think about your past. What set you apart for the first time? What caused you to feel different from the getgo? Was it something within you already? Or was it something external that you brought inside you and internalized?

Often times, because of how humans are built, we are the instruments of our own defeat even before we are capable of being cognizant of what we are doing. This is often because something unforeseen or traumatic happens in our formative years, toddler to adolescent age, and we are not mentally capable of coping with it in the proper way.

So the human mind, in all of its infinite creativity, finds an alternate route to survival. But what is best, in the child's mind's perspective of a singular moment, for survival in that singular moment, is not normally a healthy coping mechanism later in life, when it is still being utilized. And by that time, when it is later on in life, it has become instinctive and unconscious, and the person doing it doesn't even realize it exists. Its habit.

It can then begin to manifest itself in many different ways, in how a person interacts with others. It can stretch from anything from maturity levels, to manipulation, to an addiction to cycles of abuse, self abuse, drug abuse, self hate, low self esteem, and the list can go on for quite a while.

And because, like the Empath who does not like looking in the mirror or taking a picture or looking at others who suffer, we do not want to face ourselves headon in all of our sorrow and our pain, as well as joy and happiness. We lose ourselves in ideas of giving ourselves to the cause of altruism. We lose ourselves in our false identities which we build up around ourselves as safeguards to keep us grounded and away from what is holding us back.

Empath, as a title, is one such safeguard. It keeps everyone else out while giving you a place to belong and a name to call yourself, doesn't it? And that is an empowering thing. But that alone is not all you are, and hiding beneath it isn't helping you heal whats hurting inside you. Its only allowing you to push it away and hold it back a little longer.

And this.......this denial and avoidance of self, is what tends to cause the sensitivities of the Empath. It is the root or the core of an issue that extends to all kinds of levels within that person's life, from what they watch on television to who they associate with in their lives, and how close they let people in.

The thing about sensitivities brings us back to the title of Empath, as a safeguard. Your sensitivities are not all that you are, just like one single title is not all that you are, either. And while its true, that they are a very real part of who you are, they don't control all of who you are unless you let them.

So there is a difference between a sense of healthy self preservation in what you can emotionally handle and what you run away from because you think you can't cope with it. In this, we end up limiting ourselves in our growth, in our development, and in our ability to feel Empathy as Empaths. And it stunts us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Ironically, if you've ever had a Dark Night Of The Soul, then you've come face to face with this issue before. Because when we fall and crash, we come face to face with what lays beneath the surface of ourselves. And it causes us to rail against it, fight it, cry out, anything not to deal with it. It can cause one to run away or to finally step into the light, beyond the darkness. And it breeds doubt within the soul, which leads to questioning which in turn brings growth and development as answers are sought out.

And if we run to often from those moments, because they will keep coming over and over again as moments offered to wake up, it can bring one to their knees. It certainly did me. And I was ready to end my life because I couldn't do what I knew I needed to do for myself.

It took someone else's hand to stay that blade, because I didn't truly want to die. I just wanted an end to the pain. But no words could reach me. And in that one moment, in all of that darkness, I saw the single ray of light I needed to reach up and climb.

It didn't make things better for me overnight. It didn't change my issues or the things I had to face and deal with. But it made it easier to see it as something that I could work toward and accomplish, instead of something so far out of reach it wasn't even worth reaching for.

So if you find yourself relating to this post, know it wasn't written to judge you or to make you feel shame or guilt. It was written because you really aren't alone in everything your going through, even when you run away.

As long as you are here, there is time to start fresh with the dawning of a new day. There is still time to change your perspective, to learn, to grow, and to become the person you are fully capable of being and you are crying out internally to be. Think about it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Apathy & Empathy; Indifference & Hope

The title to this discussion is a little bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? Kind of like, which of these things just doesn't belong. lol And what is it doing on a website for Empaths, but that should also be obvious. If you turn empathy into the face side of a coin and flip it over, you end up with apathy. So lets look into this deeper, to see that its not evil that one battles with empathy, but apathy and indifference.

Have you ever wondered why you do what you do, as an Empath? You feel someone in pain and you are drawn to them like a moth to a flame. And you offer your support for a brief moment in the hopes that it will help support them, validate them, give them hope, allow them to feel respected as a human being, and if only for a small amount of time, lift them out of their doldrums.

Good and Evil are what results from such things as Empathy and Apathy. When one is to indifferent to care what happens they let go the reigns of hope and allow anyone to do what they want, despite the outcome. When one cares enough to open themselves to others and share in their pain, one opens the door to respect and hope for both people involved in the exchange. And that hope has a ripple effect, often times.

Apathy is like a virus that infests a human heart, mind and spirit when they decide to stop fighting and accept things as they are. We do this to our environment and our planet. We do this to the animals, wild and domesticated, that live among us. And we do this to ourselves.

There is this great little tale within the story of Peter Pan that says that when anyone around the world says 'I don't believe in fairies!', a fairy dies. And while that maybe part of a larger fable, it rings true here. When one lets their imaginations die, they let hope die. And in this fable, hope is manifested in the form of a fairy.

As it is in the fable, so is it true in the real world. When people stop dreaming, hoping, and feeling toward others in an understanding capacity, or begin set themselves apart from others because of exterior differences, apathy is given a great big welcome sign saying 'Come on in and sit down.' And then, guess what? It does. *play shocking music here*

I, personally, am willing to work with anyone on any issue, but I walk by some as well. It doesn't mean I don't stop to offer help or would not offer help if they called out to me. It does not mean I do not care for them, can empathize with them, and do not wish them well. But some people simply aren't ready for help, mine or otherwise, and turn away from it when offered. And there are other people out there in the world who want help and can utilize it when its offered, for all its worth.

I use the metaphor of the abused woman often in my writings, if you've followed them at any length. Some are so in need of help that they readily take it when it is offered and try to start over again. Some refuse help because they are still caught up in the 'I can change him' syndrome and can not see themselves drowning. This is the type of thing I am speaking of. Apathy towards themselves while focusing on someone else who is only in it to use them.

And whether apathy is directed inwardly through things like 'I don't matter' or 'the world wouldn't miss me if I were gone' or 'no body loves me', or it is directed outwardly 'who cares about the homeless' or 'who gives a crap about the mentally ill' or 'who cares about anyone who doesn't care about me or fit into my social group', its all the same at its core. The only difference is how it is expressed. One can lead to feeling lost and lonely, depression, a sense of drowning, and suicide attempts while the other can lead to snobbery, narcissism, and inequality based on superficial things like race, gender, size, sexual orientation, and so on. And the list can go on forever based on everyone's personal prejudices.

Empathy is expressed, when it is healthy, toward yourself and others. It offers hope and engenders respect, despite differences. It has the ability to uplift the people who are in need and also those who are helping. It is, in its purest form, a gift of sharing, loving, and openness that can not be torn down by things like apathy and indifference.

But it is also an ideal, which most people strive for at one level or another. And in not being able to achieve that perfection, they tend to give up or lose hope. When all that can ever be asked of one single person is what they are willing to give. The perfection lays within the imperfection, in that when one gives, even if it is seldom done, it is beautiful, real, and tangible for both the giver and the receiver. Even if its just a nod of good morning to a random stranger, it validates them and their existence. It brightens their day, which in turn will brighten other people's day, as well.

That's the greatest gift of Empathy, that it doesn't matter how large or small the contribution is, as long as your willing to give a little bit of yourself, your time, your money or whatever you choose to apply it to. Because only you know how much your time is worth to you. Only you know how long it took to earn that money. And only you can place a value on you.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Ways To Improve The Empathic Brain ~ Brain Teasers, Riddles, & Games

Alot of the time, Empaths are feelers and sensors alone, which is the beginning phase of being an Empath where it is so overwhelming they want to run and hide. They have a hard time connecting this to their cognitive mind,where real control of their gifts can be achieved, or they do it at such an instinctive or subconscious level that they have no base for working with it consciously. So to help bring that into the forefront I suggest trying sites like these to help improve memory and general brain function. Things like metaphors,optical illusions, and brain teasers help a person to shift their perspective to think outside of their safe box, which can be applied to Empaths to help them see from the other person's perspective more readily.

Conscious knowing and understanding means that a person is able to optimize the ability to work with their abilities, access them at different levels as the need calls for it, and hold on to who they are as they work with others, so that drowning feeling ceases.

You may be asking yourself, whats the point? But the answer is written above. They are all interconnected, just as your heart and brain are. When one is working at a higher rate than the other or they are not aligned, it can leave one feeling like they are drowning, depressed, and so on. So its worth the time to try these. You don't have to be good at them. That comes with time and practice. Just be patient and don't assume everything rides on one test, one quiz, one question or one game. They are there simply to help you learn and nothing more.

So try the games and check out the websites for more. They are all well worth the time. ^_^

Brain Games


Sharp Brains - Brain Teasers (Brain Games Training)
Games For The Brain
Brain Games By Lumosity
PedagoNet - Problem Solving
Bill's Games: Brain Teasers
Syvum: Brain Teasers & Math Puzzles

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Learning Energy Focus & Manipulation ~ A Limited Guide

In this discussion we will discuss energy focus and manipulation. How you utilize this information and what you do with it, is solely on you. I am simply providing information to help people understand how it works and to get you started on whatever path you choose to walk upon.

So lets start with the basics, some definitions of what kind of energy we will be working with, and some other important terms that will be essential in understanding this discussion.


Energy is the capacity of a physical system to perform work. Energy exists in several forms such as heat, kinetic or mechanical energy, light, potential energy, electrical, or other forms.

Energy is a property or characteristic (or trait or aspect?) of matter that makes things happen, or, in the case of stored or potential energy, has the "potential" to make things happen.

1 a : dynamic quality b : the capacity of acting or being active c : a usually positive spiritual force
2 : vigorous exertion of power : effort
3 : a fundamental entity of nature that is transferred between parts of a system in the production of physical change within the system and usually regarded as the capacity for doing work
4 : usable power (as heat or electricity); also : the resources for producing such power

Prana is the notion of a vital, life-sustaining force of living beings and vital energy.

Prana is the life force or vital energy, which permeates the body and is especially concentrated along the midline in the chakras.

Prana is the life sustaining energy centered in the human brain; the first of the five airs of Ayurvedic philosophy; the life force governing inspiration and the conscious intellect.

Chi is the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent in all things; in traditional Chinese medicine the balance of negative and positive forms in the body is believed to be essential for good health.

Qi, which is another name for Chi, is the life-process or “flow” of energy that sustains living beings.

Psychic Energy is the subjective force responsible for causing change and motion in the noumenal world. Psychic energy, also called mental energy, includes such things as thinking, perceiving, and remembering.

Energy Focus is a means by which one is able to center their energy, or bring it into focus. This can be done through many methods such as meditation, physical postures and exercises, fasting, celibacy, among many other methods.

Energy Manipulation is the ability to harness and focus pranic/qi/psychic energy in order to utilize it for a singular purpose.


For information on Chakras: Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexas, Sacral, and Root, which are a pivotal part of this discussion, please refer to the seven discussions of each Chakra Here. Each of these discussions offers information to help you understand what each chakra can do, what its associated with, affirmations, and meditations and exercises to help open each chakra. So if your serious about this then I would recommend reading these. Along with this, I would also suggest you go and take the Chakra Test to see which areas you might need work in. But I will delve more in depth into this area deeper into this discussion.

Basic Types Of Pranic/Chi/Psychic Energy Manipulation

These are being offered because these are the basic tenets of energy manipulation. Everything else works symbiotically with these in one way or another.

Emotional Projection occurs when a person's thoughts and/or emotions are ascribed onto another person or people. It can also be seen as a defense mechanism which occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else.

Emotional Absorption occurs when one person takes in the emotional energy of another person. Depending on the person and their motivational intent, Emotional Absorption can act as a cloning mechanism or as an ability which steals away the emotional energy, leaving the other person without that emotion.

Emotional Introjection is an unconscious internalization of aspects of the world (especially aspects of persons) within the self in such a way that the internalized representation takes over the psychological functions of the external objects. It can also be defined as a psychological defense mechanism involving appropriation of an external happening and its assimilation by the personality, making it a part of the self. In basic terms, it means to take on the emotional traits of others. It can also be done physically, but we will leave that for another discussion.

Transmutation is the act of changing from one use or function or purpose to another. Emotional Energy Transmutation is the ability to assist in the transmutation of emotional energy within a single person or a group of people.

Energy Focus

Energy focus requires a basic understanding of how your own body works. The concept of Chakras and how they work within the body is equally important to the purpose of Energy Focus. Each Chakras, which are the Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexas, Sacral, and Root, are oriented to a certain part of the body. Here is a good explanations of Chakras and their importance.

Chakra (derived from the Sanskrit cakraṃ चक्रं, pronounced [ˈtʃəkrə]; Pali: chakka, Tibetan: khorlo, Malay: cakera) is a Sanskrit word that translates as wheel or disc or turning.

Chakra is a concept referring to wheel-like vortices which, according to traditional Indian medicine, are believed to exist in the surface of the etheric double of man. The Chakras are said to be "force centers" or whorls of energy permeating, from a point on the physical body, the layers of the subtle bodies in an ever-increasing fan-shaped formation (the fans make the shape of a love heart). Rotating vortices of subtle matter, they are considered the focal points for the reception and transmission of energies. Seven major chakras or energy centers (also understood as wheels of light) are generally believed to exist, located within the subtle body. Practitioners of Hinduism and New Age Spirituality believe the chakras interact with the body's ductless endocrine glands and lymphatic system by feeding in good bio-energies and disposing of unwanted bio-energies.
Basically speaking, the Chakras are the center points of focus for the energies we channel. Each chakra is focused on a different energy frequency. Energies can be absorbed and projected through chakra points, as well as transmuted.

This can be exemplified in the heart chakra which focuses more on emotional energy than anything else. Thus it is an emotional frequency or level of energy. That is also why it is so important to maintain your heart chakra when you are an Empath, because this is the seat of your gift.

To help you focus these kinds of energies one can use a number of different methods. Different cultures teach many different ways from meditation to tai chi to help focus these vital energies. So lets look at some of these methods.

Many cultures use prayer and meditation as a means of focusing this energy, by clearing the mind of all of the clutter of thought that distracts from the singular purpose of focusing energy. Often times they will spend literally hours at these practices before they believe they have achieved the point of attaining the focus they require for their purposes. Under the Chakra section of this website you will find many different methods of helping to focus these energies for each Chakra, such as affirmations, exercises, and meditations (both in method and in video form).

Many cultures abstain from things they desire for a certain period of time, in order to focus on this energy. That means abstaining from sex, drugs, alcohol, food, and drink (in general), as a means of purifying the body for the sole purpose of focusing the vital energy they need for some particular project or another, from healing to help find enlightenment.

Other cultures utilize body postures and movements, in the midst of a mild form of meditation, called Tai Chi and Yoga, in order to help focus this energy. As this is a general and limited guide, I would suggest you look up methods to practice these if you have interest in them.

Others use visualization techniques, where in they visualize focusing the energies they need to utilize for whatever purpose they have set before themselves. Here is a decent visualization that I've found works well:

Close your eyes and lay flat on your back. Allow your body to fall into a state of relaxation one might utilize for meditation. But instead of focusing on nothingness, begin to visualize your body floating. See it from head to toe. And see each chakra point as a vortex of energy allowing energy in and out of your body. See the different colors of the energy as it enters and leaves each chakra point on your body. Look for blockages, or areas where energy seems to wane instead of flowing freely.

Now visualize each chakra connecting with a line of white light. Let the line flow completely down your body, almost as though it were splitting you in two. While this is happening feel the energy pulsating from each chakra begin to grow and expand outward throughout your entire body. As this happens visualize the line of light spreading out to cover your entire body. Watch as the you that existed shatters and becomes a glowing being of light without shape and form.

In doing this you have brought all of the chakras into alignment and focused them. And from there you can focus the energies flowing through you to any port you wish to utilize, such as hands, for healing, or heart for counseling someone who is emotionally wounded.

All of these methods work to help you hone and focus the energies which already flow within you, as well as more universal energies which are flowing into you all the time through your chakra points.

These become much easier to harness, as well as less exhausting, when one has a basic understanding that all things, energy wise, are interconnected from rocks to trees to stars to humans to animals and so on. When you can draw on the energies which naturally flow around you, from literally everything around you, it makes it less necessary to draw on your own private storehouse of energy, which means you are less likely to end up burned out and exhausted, from utilizing them. So instead of drawing on your own life energy, which will be depleted, you begin to channel the energies around you and focus them toward a purpose.

Energy Manipulation

Energy manipulation works on three basic principles: absorption, projection, and transmutation. Introjection, is more of a side effect or if willfully done, a symbiotic aspect of the other three.

Absorption is done when one takes in the energies of another, for whatever purpose. Projection is done when one extends their own energy outward toward another person, for whatever purpose. And transmutation, which can be said to be symbiotic with both absorption and projection, in singular and unto itself, because it is the filtering of that energy which is absorbed and the projection of that energy back into the other person, for whatever purpose.

We do not speak about intent here, because some will look to heal, while others will seek to attack and harm, and even others will be in it solely for personal gain, even if they do not seek to attack or harm. I offer no judgment about intent, only the information to help guide you along your path. Your intent is your own, and not my concern in this discussion.

To fortify yourself for these processes, it is recommended that you focus your energy for the purpose you are working toward before you attempt doing any of these. Otherwise you may end up with more than you can handle energy wise, which can be quite a shock to the body as well as the mind.


To absorb energy from a focused source, instead of from a more universal place, one must focus and engage that (for the purposes of this discussion) person. This is done on multiple levels. To help you focus on someone, you clear your mind of anything but that person. You might engage them in discussion, where there is emotion involved, which will help them focus the energies you are looking to absorb. The more emotion that is involved, the larger amount of energy they will produce.

You might also use visualization techniques to help you focus on a certain point of the body, which is producing a negative area, such as in more direct healing like hands on healing. This is done in much the same way as you did in focusing on yourself during the visualization offered above, but you substitute the other person and go from place to place, within the visualization, to find the focus points of the pain.


To project energy into another person, it is the same process, just reversed. You focus your own energy into one of their chakra points, dependent upon what you wish to achieve, and you let it flow freely, but still focused, into that person.

Again, to help this process along engaging the person focused upon in discussion and eye contact is recommended. Physical contact, though not necessary, might also help to further this practice along.

For healing purposes, such as hands on healing, one would focus ones 'white light' energy into the spot visualized that is producing negative energy. But lets look at that more in terms of transmutation.


Transmutation occurs, as we said, when one absorbs another's energy, lets say for the purposes of healing, and filters this energy through one's own focused 'white light energy' which was acquired through the earlier exercise of focusing ones own energy. It is then projected back into the other person, through a chakra point or a point that is expelling negative energy (through hands on healing of a physical ailment).

The biggest issue with transmutation is that if one acts as a filter for another person's negative energy, but has no means of releasing that energy themselves, they will retain it and it will often times manifest itself through exhaustion, burn out, depression, aggression, and/or unstable moods.

So it is wise to be in touch with a more universal energy source for which one can let it flow out of themselves, which means having a deep understanding how all things are connected energy wise. Sending it off to the universe, as its called sometimes, does not harm the universe. It just mingles and becomes part of the whole.

Here is a good technique for the release of negative energy one has acquired through the act of transmutation:

Close your eyes. Picture your chakras full of swirling energy. Imagine the heart chakra in your minds eye. The heart chakra is the base of emotion. Now imagine a flower (I prefer to picture a lotus blossom) blooming out of the core that is your heart chakra. See the flower in detail. See the center of the flower and imagine pushing out all of that negative energy. Picture black gas( no fart jokes please) being pushed out of the flower's center and dissipating into nothingness in he air.

The reason this works is because chakras are energy portals. If they can take in energy, then they can also release energy. And it can be done with any of the chakra points at which you have used the ability of transmutation.

Links To Understanding Energy Focus & Manipulation

Energy Manipulation Techniques
Beginning Energy Manipulation
Cullen's Guide To Energy Manipulation

The World Of Chi Energy (Manipulation)
Energy Manipulation
Energy Healing: Buddhist Symbols
Energy Healing 4 Balance: Products
Introduction To Pranic Healing
Chakras, Ki/chi Energy, Unlocking Inner Gates
How To Focus Chi Energy
Radar Hands (Sensing Energy W/Hands)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Perspective Writing ~ An Exercise In Empathy

Perspective writing is all about Empathy. It teaches one to see from another perspective ~ of those you would not normally notice or care about. It takes you into the mind of another person. And whether the person is a fictional character in a book or a real person, with real problems, you can see through their eyes and feel what they feel.

So try it. Write from the perspective of someone else, imagined or real, that you would not normally consider, because they do not personally touch your life. Give thought to their situation, their physical reality (cloths, face, eyes, hands, the places they dwell in, etc.), and their emotional and mental state at the time of the writing. See through their eyes and write from their perspective.

Its amazing how eye opening this exercise can be.

Here is an example:

The Shadows of Society

It is dark beneath the shadow moon,
as she walks the streets,
alone in her plight.
She is no more than a wisp of smoke
to those who pass her by,
unnoticed and uncared for,
she is forgotten.

Her face is covered in filth and dirt,
caked layer upon layer,
and her eyes are glazed and empty as
her silent pleas for help go unheard.
A single tear smears the dirt as
it traces a path down her cheek
and falls onto the tattered rags
she wears to survive the elements.

She stares through windows
into a world of sheltered security
that she will never have,
that she will never be a part of,
and she can do nothing more
than stand in her confusion,
lost in the world of the past
when she walked among the living of society.

But always reality is brought back to hern
for she is shunned for being unable
to live up to the expectations of society
and she is disregarded as nothing more
than a burden upon society.

And she wonders where
she will sleep tonight,
and if she will live to see another day
of hunger and loneliness.

Yesterday she was a
wife and mother,
with a family,
a home,
and a job,
but today, well, today
she is a forgotten nothing,
and always
a shadow of society.

Drawing by J E Kristiansen

Emotional Intelligence ~ Audio Discussions

I found a few interesting discussions and descriptions in audio form of Emotional Intelligence that I thought I'd share. Please feel free to listen, if you like. ^_^ To hear any of the full discussions though you must goto the website offered. Its free.

Psych M.D. - Emotional Intelligence - Courteney

(Think IT) Emotional Intelligence - Robert T. Kiyosaki

2. Emotional Intelligence - David Coleman

3. Emotional Intelligence - David Coleman

Friday, August 21, 2009

Archetyping Of The Social Empath

We are going to look at the Social Empath. What this type of person truly is, and why they are given the title Social Empath. And we are going to look at the benefits and disadvantages of this type of Empathy.

Social Empathy

So lets take a look at what social empathy is first. Social empathy is defined as a sense of shared experience, including emotional and physical feelings, with another person, group of people, or something other than oneself. Sounds alot like the definition of Empathy, which is defined as the ability to project oneself into the situation of another person and thereby understand the feelings and thoughts of that person.

The reason these sound so similar is because they are the same thing. Empathy is about social awareness and interpersonal relationships, which is defined as a relatively long-term association between two or more people based on emotions like love and liking or some other type of social commitment, through heightened emotional intelligence, which is defined as an ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, and of others.

So Social Empathy is, in and of itself, Empathy. That social awareness and the willingness to have social interactions with others, ie. interpersonal relationships, added to the willingness to cultivate the ability to not only understand others emotions, perspectives, and intentions, but also to respect that and work within the scope of the other person's perspective, at the same time as your own, equals Social Empathy.

This is how society, as a whole, interacts with one another. This is how mediation and diplomacy are cultivated. And this is how the business world interacts with the social world, to sell products and help customers.

The Social Empath

The Social Empath is one who has a superior capacity for empathy toward others. Not only do they understand others feelings, intentions, perceptions, and thoughts, they tend to work within the scope of those boundaries, or at the level at which the other person is at mentally, physically, and spiritually, as they are reaching out to others.

Often times, though, this outwardly expressed need to help others is an symptom of some form of emotional dissociation within the Social Empath themselves. Perhaps it was a lack of love growing up. Perhaps it is a lack of trust. Perhaps it was neglect. The reasons are endless. They seek to deny what happened to themselves by offering to others what was lacking in their own lives. Basically compensating for what is missing in their own lives.

This can leave a huge gaping hole in the Empath's psyche, because what they offer to others in such full measure is, more often than not, not reciprocated in equal measure. In other words, they don't get back what they send out. And it disheartens them all the more, building on the hole, like a heavy and crushing weight upon the chest, that was already there in the first place.

This leaves the Social Empath feeling lost, alone, different, isolated, and worthless. And in all the world, what they long for most is a place, a safe haven within the turbulent storm of life, to call home. Home, as in a place in which they belong without question or judgment. Belonging, as in fitting in with others like themselves who have similar experiences, opinions, and needs.

The Social Empath Circle

The Social Empath Circle, as averse to the Empath Circle which encompasses everyone equally in an interconnection of sharing and compassion, is one which is sought out by those who have this need. It is one which becomes tightly nit, because it is based on the interconnection of everyone's need to be interconnected with others of their own ilk. In a sense, it becomes cliquish and is defended staunchly against any outsider, or someone deemed different or unacceptable, who tries to enter into it.

The Social Empath Circle becomes that which they themselves, as Social Empaths, suffered at the hands of others. And without realizing it, they continue this cycle of abuse which was perpetrated against them through the demand of conformity to enter into their closed off society and the denial of entry to those who do not do this.

And then, like high school social groups like the preps or the jocks, who denied entry to the nerds and the alternative children, they sometimes lash out at them for being different, simply because they refuse to see beyond the walls of their own cliche to understand the other person.

Groups like this stunt the expression of Empathy and promote inequality, prejudice, and bullying. As well, they do not promote individual growth, but instead advocate interdependence on one another and enabling of this kind of behavior.

The Empath

Empaths are extremely special people, for what they can offer society when they themselves are healthy. The Social aspect of this is a wonderful part of being an Empath. Of that there is no doubt, when it is kept in balance with other aspects within the Empath.

This is because Empaths generally are the way they are because of experiences they have suffered in their lives. They have unresolved issues from the past that creep into the present and express themselves in a multitude of ways, some beneficial to others and some not so much.

It is so much easier to find a cliche to belong to that advocates the evasion of dealing with these unresolved issues or offers ready answers without doing any real work to receive them, like self analysis. And every Empath, Social or otherwise, is prone to falling into this kind of situation, no matter what level they are at health wise.

If we begin to set ourselves away from others, even those of our own kind, other Empaths, because we do not like who they are, what they say, what they stand for, what religion they are, or whatever, we lose the capacity to express empathy, except for a select few, because it becomes buried beneath the need to be territorial, prejudice, and judgment. And this does not promote understanding, kinship, or compassion. It simply advocates the selfish needs of the group, individually and as a whole.

Think about it. Its an important topic to understand.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

How To Be Friends With An Empath

I read this wonderful article about a year or so ago, How To Live With An Empath, written by Lauralyn Avalon, that got me thinking recently when I revisited it today. What about how to be friends with an Empath? These aren't rules, please understand. They are just suggestions.

How To Be Friends With An Empath

Step 1
~ Meet the Empath on equal footing. What this means is that an Empath brings all of who they are to the table, when they take someone on as a friend, instead of someone just to help. And they hope, because they learn early on not to expect, that you will do the same.

Step 2

~ Love an Empath with all your heart. Empaths bring their whole heart to the table in a friendship, and when they truly let someone in and love them, it is completely and totally. It is all encompassing, which can scare some people at times. But all they really want is that returned in kind, even if you don't feel well or your personal problems are weighing down on you.

Step 3
~ Try not to be judgmental about an Empath's quarks. They all have them, as do most normal people. Accept them for who they are, as they try to do for you.

Step 4
~ Don't be judgmental when an Empath offers support, advice (even if unsolicited), or tries to tell you how you might be doing something wrong. Empaths see the world and people in a way most others do not. But they do not mean to be dictatorial, controlling, or pushy. Its simply in their nature to help. And because they love so completely, the very action of offering that help is an act of support toward you.

Step 5
~ Make time for your Empathic friend. This is because they have need your support, if they love you and have let you in.

Step 6
~ Remember that Empaths are human beings with feelings, needs, and desires just like everyone else. They might have a gift, but they are more than their gift. They are people too.

Step 7
~Be understanding and supportive of an Empath. Don't condemn or make jokes about them being 'crazy', 'weird', or in a religious context 'possessed by demons'. They are simply different from you, but that doesn't make them inaccessible, bad, leeches, needy, overly sensitive, evil, or anything else they should feel ashamed of.

Step 8
~ Be open minded. Try learning about the empathic nature through books and material on the internet, so you know what to expect within a friendship with an Empath.

Step 9
~ Remember that Empaths are sensitive souls, and might have a hard time dealing with aggression, crowds, and violent or gory media displays. Be sensitive and understanding toward this trait.

**Note: The next two were added by some of the kind people at Empath Community**

Step 10
~ Respect when an Empath needs time to themselves away from others. Don't push. Sensitive souls sometimes need time to recharge and rediscover themselves.

Step 11
~ Trust is key with an Empath. Think about it.

There are probably more I am not putting down at the moment. Periodically, as I think of them, I will come back and add more. Or if you have suggestions please feel free to add it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

What's The Difference? (Quizzes)

Empathic or empathetic? Being Empathic vs. being an Empath? Being empathetic vs being an Empath? Empathic Intelligence vs. Emotional Intelligence vs. Cognitive Intelligence?

Well first lets look at some definitions to help see the slight differences of each of these. And then we will do a compare and contrast, so we have a better understanding of what separates these things.


An Empath is a person who has an acute or highly developed sense of empathy. Empathy is the capability to share your feelings and understand another's emotion and feelings and is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes".

Both Empathic & Empathetic (which are synonymous of one another) mean showing empathy or ready comprehension of others' states.

Cognitive Intelligence is intellectual abilities such as logic, reason, reading, writing, analyzing and prioritizing. These go on in your own head and utilize only the neocortex, not the emotional centers of the brain which also provide crucial information. These abilities do not require any social skills per se, i.e., you can solve a math equation by yourself, or write an essay, or balance a business’ books by yourself.

Emotional Intelligence
is understanding your own emotions and those of others, and being able to use this information to bring about the best outcome for all concerned. Knowing where emotions come from and being able to manage your own and those of others. Knowing what emotions mean and what information they are providing. Being able to work well with others as well as alone. Being able to combine cognitive knowledge with emotional knowledge and use them in tandem.

Empathic Intelligence is not the same as emotional intelligence or cognitive intelligence, because it is essentially concerned with the dynamics between thinking and feeling and the ways in which each contributes to the making of meaning. The word dynamic is important because it highlights the psychic energy generated when one mobilizes both thought and feeling in understanding experience. When there is an intensity of feeling matched with intensity of thought, transforming learning experiences can occur. (This definition of Emotional Intelligence was taken from the book "Emotional Intelligence", by Roslyn Arnold)

Being An Empath vs. Being Empathic vs. Being Empathetic

The term 'Empath' is a title used to describe one who carries an extraordinary ability for empathy toward others. It is used to exemplify those who believe they carry this ability and separate them from the rest of the general population. It is a way of feeling special and unique to be able to not only call oneself by a title like 'Empath', but by a psychic one as well.

Being 'Empathic' is what an Empath does. It describes the, as described above, extraordinary ability of empathy exhibited toward others. So to say one is empathic, without the title of Empath attached, is to show humility in that one is not defining oneself as one thing or another, simply stating what they are capable of. This is important because we are, each of us, unique and much more than one title can encompass. So to exemplify the ability over the title, says to the other person (even if they do not realize it on a conscious level), that you are more than simply your abilities.

Being 'Empathetic' is the level of empathy by which every person is capable of exhibiting. And while it may be synonymous with the term Empathic in dictionaries, there is a difference. The term Empathetic is a combination of sympathy and empathy combined, thus it is not quite on the same level as being purely Empathic.

Can one who is Empathetic be an Empath? Generally, no. They are exhibiting the normal human capacity for empathy, but not at extraordinary levels. Can one who is Empathic be an Empath? Probably, but there are also other titles one could choose like being a Feeler Clairsentient.

A Feeler Clairsentient is a person who picks up thoughts, feelings and experiences that manifest as a feeling. What they are feeling is energy translated into a feeling. Their sense of touch is well-developed and they have the ability to know people by feeling what they feel.

What you choose to call yourself and how you present yourself to the world is your choice. No one is condemning one way or trying to push one way over another. This is just information. ^_^

IQ vs. EQ vs. Empathic Intelligence~ Quizzes

The definitions above pretty much exemplify the differences between the different types. So instead here I'm going to offer you some quizzes that I've found helpful and let you see for yourself.

Remember that since this is a blog site, there is no need for you to post your results. This is for you and your learning, growth, and development alone.

IQ Test or Intelligence Quotient Test: An Intelligence Quotient indicates a person's mental abilities relative to others of approximately the same age. Everyone has hundreds of specific mental abilities--some can be measured accurately and are reliable predictors of academic and financial success.

EQ Test or Emotional Intelligence Test
: The Emotional Intelligence Test will evaluate several aspects of your emotional intelligence and will suggest ways to improve it.

EQ Test or Empathy Quotient Test: The Empathy Quotient Test is intended to measure how easily you pick up on other people's feelings and how strongly you are affected by other people's feelings.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

An Empathic Perspective On Prejudice, Forgiveness & Equality

Lets take a look at the very real issue of hate and prejudice within the subculture of the Empath. And lets also take a look at the realities that, as Empaths, we should, but as human beings do not always, exemplify in such things as equality and forgiveness.

So as always, lets start the ball rolling with some definitions. If you feel you already have a grasp of these things, please feel free to skip this portion of the discussion, as it is only meant to add some focus and readily available understanding to the discussion.


Prejudice is a baseless and usually negative attitude toward members of a group. Common features of prejudice include negative feelings, stereotyped beliefs, and a tendency to discriminate against members of the group.

Hateful describes what elicits or deserves strong dislike, distaste, or revulsion. Hateful refers to what evokes hatred or deep animosity. It applies to what arouses abhorrence or scorn. It is something odious is the object of disgust, aversion, or intense displeasure. It is applied to what offends or excites displeasure like an offensive suggestion. It is also something repellent arouses repugnance or disgust.

Inequality is defined as the quality of being unequal; difference, or want of equality, in any respect; lack of uniformity; disproportion; unevenness; disparity; diversity; as, an inequality in size, stature, numbers, power, distances, motions, rank, property, etc.

Equality is defined as the condition or quality of being equal; agreement in quantity or degree as compared; likeness in bulk, value, rank, properties, etc.; as, the equality of two bodies in length or thickness; an equality of rights.

Forgiveness is the willingness to and the act of forgiving; the state of being forgiven; as, the forgiveness of sin or of injuries. It is the disposition to pardon.

Hate & Prejudice

As much as there is love and understanding in the world, there is also hate and prejudice. It is everywhere we turn. It is within religious organizations. It is within political affiliations. It is within the work force. It is within personal opinions.

And it doesn't matter what the cause is: whether someone is to fat, to skinny, different colored skin, different religion, sexual orientation, political party choice, hair color, the way their face is shaped, what kind of person they are.......and the list can go on forever.

Often times these types of people are phrased as 'hateful', 'ugly', 'mean', 'different', 'despicable', 'unpleasant'.......blah blah blah. The point is they are deemed unworthy based on something the other person find displeasing whether it is disposition or something else.

This type of hate and prejudice spreads like a cancer from one person to another, particularly in groups where new members which to 'belong' to the pack mentality and are afraid to stand against the majority opinion. Those that are new take on the mentalities, even if they privately disagree, of the majority. And that can make for a mob mentality, when it comes to those who are different or displeasing in some way.

To minimize its existence, is to attempt to justify its existence. And while everyone is entitled to their own opinions, this is a mentality and a behavior (hating and prejudice) which speaks to ones own innate fears and insecurities toward the world, not the real flaws of others.

Forgiveness & Equality

Forgiveness and equality on the other hand, are equally present within our social strata, be it in the subculture of the Empath or the much larger global community. Altruism is not something that is dead.

When one learns to forgive those who have hurt them, caused them to suffer, used them, abused them, manipulated them, tormented them, or any other number of issues, one learns that they have developed the ability to move on and grow mentally, physically, and spiritually. It is a beautiful thing.

Understand that this does not mean that one has to associate with those that have hurt you. It simply means you have let go of the hate and prejudice which have held you prisoner for so long, and that you are now ready and able to move on with your life, in what ever capacity and venue you choose.

And when one forgives, one is able to see others as human beings, with their own issues and problems. It levels the playing field and allows, what was once feared, to be seen in the same light as one's own suffering and pain. It allows for the viewpoint of equality, as apposed to inequality based on hate, prejudice, and/or fear.

The Subculture Of The Empath

As a subculture, the Empathic community (not to be confused with and with no disrespect to the website Empath Community) is generally one of gentle kindness, support and love, particularly to other new Empaths and those who are in need. But they are also human beings, who sometimes believe themselves above being prone to prejudice and hate (which ever kind one chooses).

So lets look at the definition of an Empath again. An Empath is a person who has an acute or highly developed sense of empathy. Empathy is the capability to share your feelings and understand another's emotion and feelings and is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes".

What this means is that an Empath is capable of seeing through anyone's eyes and understanding them. It means they can share in the feelings expressed by other people, and even those hidden and buried within them. It means that upon the occasion of an Empath working with someone, from human being to human being, the Empath is capable of such levels of empathy as to bring about small wonders of love and compassion toward other people.

So let me ask you this? Is that limited by hate and prejudice in the Empath? Or should they at least attempt to cultivate an understanding of the people they deem 'ugly', 'undesirable', 'distastful' and so on. Does Empathy end when the blinders of prejudice , which are put over ones own consciousness, rise up over a single title or a single trait that is held up as unworthy?

I'm not saying you have to love every soul on this planet. I'm not saying you have to agree with everyone either. And I'm certainly not saying that you have to stay where there is use, abuse or hurting going on. That is not the issue at hand.

We will all have personal opinions and preferences. But when you work as an Empath, is it not possible to separate those feelings, which might taint our work as Empaths, from the perspective with which you work with others, so that you are capable of seeing each person, even those who use and abuse, as human beings with issues.

Limited or prejudiced Empathy is just that, limited and prejudiced. It is tainted by hate. It does not engender growth or facilitate healing. It leaves the Empath impotent and stagnating.

And as a subculture, which we are indeed becoming with our growing numbers, what example will we set for ourselves to the world? Each of you count in that example. Each of you matter. So think about it, please.

Within each of you is the potential for so much more than you realize, if only you are willing to reach inside yourselves and find it. Because the mark of an Empath is that the strength and compassion they exhibit to others.

And if you isolate yourself, even from just one or two types of people (for whatever reason) you might miss out on a lesson that might later come in handy when you are working to help heal someone. Life is about experiences, both good and bad, and if you evade those, then how can you truly teach them or guide others toward healing?

So as I said before, think about it, please. Its important.

Quotes On Equality

All men are created equal, It is only men themselves who place themselves above equality.
David Allan Coe

All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They.

Rudyard Kipling

Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.
Kahlil Gibran

From the equality of rights springs identity of our highest interests; you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking a dangerous blow at your own.
Carl Schurz

Quotes On Empathy

One who knows how to show and to accept kindness will be a friend better than any possession.

Only your compassion and your loving kindness are invincible, and without limit.
Thich Nhat Hanh

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Bonnie Jean Wasmund

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams

Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other - it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.
Mother Teresa

So long as we love we serve;/ So long as we are loved by others,/ I would almost say that we are indispensable;/ And no one is useless while they have a friend.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.
Kahlil Gibran

Low Self Esteem & And Its Possible Effects

What is self esteem? Is it a definition? Is it a set number of criteria that define whether you have it or not? Or is it something more than that. And for that matter, what defines low self esteem? Lets look at some of these.

In one definition of self esteem it simply defines it as 'a confidence and satisfaction in oneself '. Another says 'pride in oneself; self-respect'.

Some basic traits of both positive/high and negative/low self esteem are as follows:

Characteristics Of Positive Self Esteem

1. You are capable to act more assertive without any guilt. Communication with other people is easy and natural.

2. You don't spend too much time dwelling on the past. Yo live in the present doing the best you can. The past is gone and you cannot do anything about it.

3. You are equal to everyone. You know that nobody is better or worst than you. However, you recognize difference in others like specific talents.

4. You do not allow other's to manipulate you. Because you know how to be assertive you can easily handle this situations with a different attitude.

5. You recognize and accept a variety of feelings, positive or negatives, and you share them with another person if you think it is healthy for the relationship.

6. You enjoy different activities like work, play, walk, relax, etc. Balance is important in your daily life.

7. You accept challenges and take risks in order to grow. Because you accept yourself as you are , you are aware that you are not perfect. Is something goes wrong you learn from it.

8. You handle criticism easily without taking it personally. You know that you are learning and growing and are mostly independent of the good and bad opinions of others. Because of this you can discern when criticism is a feedback that is going to help you or is going to drawn you down.

9. You value yourself and you communicate better with other people. You are not afraid to express your feelings , likes and dislikes.

10. You value and accept other people as they are, meaning that you don't try to change them.

70 Characteristics Of Low Self Esteem

1. Excessive anxiety and fear
2. Social withdrawal
3. Eating disorders
4. Insecurities and fears
5. Exaggerating the negative
6. Too much emphasis on what others might think or say bout them
7. Treating yourself badly
8. Not treating yourself fairly
9. Self neglect
10. Negative expectations from yourself and life
11. Reluctant to face challenges
12. Apprehension of the future
13. Lack of confidence in decisions
14. Self dissatisfaction
15. Not happy with their lives
16. The glass is always greener on the other side
17. Unable to accept their imperfections or shortcomings
18. Want to impress everybody
19. Focus more on negative than positive aspects of their personality and life
20. Self pity
21. Expecting worst in life
22. Judgmental about people
23. Blaming and critical of self as well as of others
24. Always feel like a victim
25. Break agreements
26. Always trying to prove themselves correct
27. Getting into frequent arguments
28. Jealous and envious
29. Fear of failure
30. Fear of making mistakes
31. Feel dependant on others
32. Constantly comparing onself to others
33. Excessive worry
34. Cannot give or take compliments
35. Lack of purpose in life
36. Feelings of lack and inadequacy
37. Easily give up
38. Easily affected by criticism or negative comments
39. Not having the courage to stand up to one's convictions and principles
40. Fear of the society
41. Unable or hesitant to express oneself
42. Unable to be assertive
43. Lack of self respect
44. Always complaining
45. Not living in the present - Dwelling too much in the past or future
46. Self Sabotaging behavior
47. Putting yourself down
48. Afraid of intimacy with someone
49. Job hopping
50. Addictions
51. Negative "I am " statements
52. Eager to please people all the time
53. Feelings of hopelessness
54. Frequent boasting behaviours
55. Lack of energy
56. Lack of self-awareness
57. Excessive apologizing
58. Lot of negative self talk
59. Irresponsible and not caring of others
60. Neglecting physical appearance to extreme levels
61. Always fighting with others
62. Unable to form healthy relationships with people
63. Thinking too much of oneself
64. Thinking too little of oneself
65. Reluctant to try out new things and experiment or explore
66. Revenge seeking attitude
67. Always finding fault with others
68. Lack of kindness with people
69. Always indulging in extreme behaviors
70. Obsessive or extremely possessive
71. Making fun of others all the time.
72. Afraid of change
73. All the time hasty in doing things

Narcissism & Emotional Detachment/Dissociation

We've defined these before, so I'll only touch briefly on them again:

The terms narcissism, narcissistic and narcissist are often used as pejoratives, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social groups, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

Emotional detachment, in psychology, can mean two different things. In the first meaning, it refers to an inability to connect with others emotionally, as well as a means of dealing with anxiety by preventing certain situations that trigger it; it is often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation.

is a mental process that severs a connection to a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity.

Narcissism and Emotional Dissociation are extreme cases of low self esteem, where the mind either weaves a delusion around itself to sustain a false identity with a false sense of self esteem and self worth, or it pushes away from them completely to deny its very existence.

What do these have to do with Empathy? Well lets look at that.

The Narcissistic Empath

Sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it? How can these two things co-exist? But they can despite this seeming paradox. When someone has no sense of themselves, and they base everything either on delusion or on the external influences in their lives, basically seeking praise and approval from the outside world, it can develop into this type of person. This is because helping people and doing good works for others, are used as a substitutes for what is really missing from their lives. Another term for this is addictive behavior.

It comes in many different shapes and sizes. One can not assume that one level is any better or worse than the other, because there is usually nothing there to impede the escalation of a delusion from simply 'its about me' to 'I can save the world'. That is, unless the person falls and is given a wake up call about what they are heading toward. And

You can see extreme cases of this type of person in cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh. In offering this, does it mean that if you have this issue, that you are just like them? No, of course not. But you can see the potential for destruction that it can cause not just the person in question, but those around them, if it escalates or they find an outlet like religion or even the Empath Movement.

People are looking for help. They want and they need it. And everything we, as teachers, do and say reaches them, whether we know it or not. And if you feed your need off of the needs of others, it has the potential of not just hurting yourself, but others, as well.

Messiah and/or God complexes are formed off of ideas like this, when someone assumes they don't just have a message that might help others, but they ARE the message or the way to that 'salvation', 'hope', or means of being 'saved' from whatever ails the person who is in need.

And all of this potential damage off of low self esteem, one single delusion or need to 'fill a hole' inside themselves and a word like Empath, as though it were a savior and not a helper, a healer, or an angel. Does this mean that any one person has this potential? We are all susceptible to this.

That's why you don't see me much in my own discussions, its just information and analysis. This is because its not about me and my journey, or making myself look good. Its all about you and yours. What you do with this information is up to you.

The Emotionally Dissociative Empath

This one again seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? But again, its not. It also seems, on one level, to go hand in hand with the Narcissistic Empath, and it does sometimes. But here we are going to focus on the need of this type of Empath. What does an emotionally dissociative Empath need? An advocate to speak for them, guide them, teach them, support them, and make life easy by giving ready answers so that they don't have to face their own problems, issues, and emotions. This type of person is a follower, to the Narcissistic Empath's leader.

So when you come upon a place full of people who are just learning about Empathy, and in general, have their own issues, which include emotional dissociation, and you throw in a Narcissistic Empath, who believes anything from 'its all about me and what I can do'', 'I know the truth and your stupid' to 'I am the way, so follow me', you end up with the potential for a cult, instead of the probably well intended motivations to help people come together and learn that it started out with. And again, this is based off of low self esteem, but is at the other end of the spectrum, where the person is in actual need, searching for answers, confused, lonely, and hurting.

The Balanced Empath

The balanced empath is someone who balances their own needs with those of others, without the need to make themselves look better in the eyes of others, because the know and accept others and themselves, for who and what they are.

The Reason For This Site

The reason for this site, Empathic Perspectives, is first and foremost to bring you information to help you, as a person, make an informed choice and decision about who and what you are, Empath and otherwise. Its also to inform you about the real life and sometimes dangerous potential you could walk blindly into, when you claim a title for yourself, like I am an Empath, instead of saying one is empathic. Its one thing to identify with something, and its another to label yourself this or that, simply because you fit a criteria. This is because you don't know the motivations, intentions, and or beliefs of others. And if you blindly accept without knowing, it could hurt you. And you as a person, are important, to me yes, but thats besides the point. You are important simply for existing. That is more than enough.