Monday, September 7, 2009

The Ideal Empath Vs. The Real Empath

The Ideal Empath

The Ideal Empath is someone who is fully capable of separating their personal judgments from the work they do with others, so they do not offer a tainted perspective when helping that person. They are someone who can rise above the muck of their own situations, as well as others, to see not only the problem but the resolution.

Personal prejudices, opinions, and thoughts are laid aside to help the other person grow or find resolution to a problem. They are teachers, leaders, guides, confidants, counselors, and most important of all, friends. If there is something negative to be said, it is said in such a way to teach other people another method in which to transverse their issues.

And they do it because they care enough to offer such things to others, through real altruism. For all they take in return is the shared experience they had with the other person to help themselves continue to grow on their own path. They offer their time, their shoulder, their ear, and their energy, because they are not just compelled to do it, but also open and willing to do it.

They approach each person on their own level, because they can see what level a person is at, due to being able to see through the other person's perspective. They use all of their senses to do this, as well as their mind, heart, and intuition.

Sounds very Buddhist, doesn't it, and very idealistic, as well. But its worth striving for, even if you are still human with human fallibility intact (which we all are).

It means standing up and walking back into the darkness to help other people who are in need. It means helping to lift them up emotionally and psychologically, but only to the extent that it will not damage yourself, because you are equally as important as them.

Its an ideal, and yet, its a doable, workable ideal. And its not unrealistic for anyone, no matter what level they are at now. The point isn't to achieve the ideal, its to strive toward that while, at the same time, being true to who you are ~ all of who you are.

The Real Empath

The Real Empath is one who tends to have their own hidden emotional issues. But even as they are weighed down by these things, that they are afraid to face head on, they still give of themselves to others.

They love passionately. They care deeply. And they share the pain of others, as though it were their own. Willing or unwilling, they take that weight upon themselves, on top of all they have suppressed within themselves to come to the point of saying 'I am an Empath!'.

They do this, alot of the time, to the point that there is a sense of drowning within a sea of emotions, theirs and others. And in doing so,they can not distinguish their own emotions from others anymore. Its like being set adrift during a torrential downpour above a churning sea.....being pulled under and fighting just to survive over and over again.

And yet they return to this point again and again, because they can not deny or suppress their gifts (or curses depending on the person you ask), even without a title to give it substance like Empath. This is a gift that will not be suppressed, even if you isolate yourself away from the entire world. It follows and haunts, demanding acknowledgment.

And they look at something that is written about an ideal and it is unimaginable to go from drowning to thriving in such a way. But think about it. If the Ideal Empath has dealt with the issues which haunt their past, and all that is left to plague them is their daily lives, when they goto help someone else, it makes the sea level, which was once a churning mess with a downpour of rain pushing them further down into the water, that much lower and easier to transverse.

It doesn't mean that you have to become the ideal, or even a facsimile of the ideal. You create your own ideal, that is workable and doable for you and you strive toward that. Why do this? Its not because I said so. Its because in doing it you learn better coping skills. You are able to shore your own barriers better because there isn't such a tsunami of water battering against them from the inside as you take in the emotions of others at the same time.

Dealing with your own emotional issues heals you in ways I can not express in words. And it makes what we do less of a martyring, and more of a gift of love. And that's what Empathy is.....the gift of love.......the gift of an extent most people can't even begin to fathom.

Do it or don't do it.......its up to you. It always has been up to you. But if you are here and you are reading this, then you came here because your in need and searching for help, answers, and understanding.

There are no magic wands or magic powers to achieve it. No one who promises easy answers will give it to you. All you will get there is more illusions. It has to come from within you.

There is an old saying that goes: "Healer, Heal Thy Self". It applies here. Empathy begins with you ~ toward yourself by you. The first step is the hardest, I know. And its there, waiting, whenever you are ready. Think about it.

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