Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Motivation To Become An Empath

What drove you to claim the name of Empath for yourself? Did someone mention 'you might be an Empath' to you and you looked it up? Did you find a definition and/or a list of traits that fit you down to the very last day?

Have you always felt alone or perhaps distant from everyone around you, even when you were in a room full of people? Have you isolated yourself from the world? Have you felt depressed or carried a sense of being lost all your life? How about feeling different? And what about being called names like 'freak', 'weird', 'oversensitive', 'nuts', and 'mental'?

Have you been abused, used, manipulated, or suffered some kind of trauma in your life? In your personal relationships, despite what type it is, is it hard to trust others and open yourself completely out of the fear of rejection or being hurt, perhaps because of past experiences? Do you repeat abusive patterns in the people you choose to let in, be it boyfriend or friend?

Do you feel like you must give to others till it hurts in order to find any value within yourself? Does their praise and thanks sustain your sense of worth? And does the title Empath give you a sense of empowerment and belonging, like you've never felt before in your life? Does it feel like you have a home now......a purpose......and meaning for your life?

Do you have little to no self esteem or self worth? Are you passive instead of assertive? Are you a people pleaser?

On the flip side of this, do you find your greatest joy in those moments when you are helping someone? How about as you sit and listen to them talk about their problems? How about when you connect with them so deeply you want to cry right along with them, because you have the ability to share their pain and you do it?

Do all of these personal issues stop one from being what they claim, an Empath? Is this the underlying reason you do this, instead of the one that seems like a surface reason ~ altruism? Is it hitting to close to home, as you read it? Does it make you feel like a fraud?

Before you get angry and leave this discussion, let me explain something to you. Just because some or all of the above is true, doesn't make you a fraud. People are complex beings with many motivations for doing what they do ~ some personal and some altruistic. Pointing one out or highlighting it, instead of the more altruistic one, doesn't make the altruistic one any less true.

But if you are feeling the least bit guilty or ashamed right now, which you may or may not be feeling, then perhaps......just perhaps there are some emotional issues within yourself that you need to work on for your own mental health and emotional well being.

But understand, that doesn't change who you are or what you can do when you share your gifts of love and compassion with others. It does not devalue you. Only your own perception of yourself can do that.

It might be that you build your self worth on people's thanks or in the act of giving, but this does not denigrate the act of giving itself. Because giving love and showing others compassion and empathy, well.....that is a beautiful thing. And despite the hang-ups you might carry with you, you've found a productive way to express your own need by helping others in whatever capacity you choose.

But this discussion is about you and the way you view yourselves. Its about your own personal value and worth, because its there whether you realize it or not. So in essence, its about your perception of yourself.

If you run and hide, or feel shame and guilt because you have ulterior motives for what you do in offering help to others, your not perceiving your own worth. Your not seeing that it wasn't just anyone who was motivated to take time out of their day to help someone in need and show them compassion, it was you. And that very act says more about you than all the things I've described above will ever say. That is your beauty and that is your gift. And that is the place to start seeing the value of you, as a person and an Empath.

Think about it.

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