Sunday, November 8, 2009

Finding the Missing Piece of your Heart

The empath seems to have an issue with love and relationships. I often respond to threads from many people who are in relationships that want to know why they can't close the deal with the relationship. Why they can't seem to stay in a relationship with any given person for an extended period of time. Even many who long to have someone in their life and go from person to person searching for the love of their life.

The common thread that runs through each of these things is quite simple actually people have to have someone else to share their lives in order to feel complete. Without someone to validate them and their ability to love they tend to feel lost and empty.

The truth here isn't that any of us "need" someone to do either of those things for us (validate and someone to make us complete). What every single solitary person on this planet needs to do is learn to love who they are and realize that it is only ourselves that makes us complete. Another person in your life until you find that ability is almost a liability, a crutch, an almost destined disaster just waiting to happen. In the search for others we tend, as empaths, to push
our own wants, needs and even desires to the back burner. We become one with this person and believe they are what we need, what we love, what we want. But are they really that perfect person. In most instances they aren't they fill an immediate need or desire until we agonize and demonize ourselves and move on to the next love. As an empath, that moving on to the next person takes on a completely different meaning than for a non-empath.
Our feelings of love and devotion are deep and we indeed believe they are the real thing, the real love of our lives when in essence that person fills an emptiness we have inside. An emptiness that we tend to think can only be filled with another person and fail to realize that we ourselves hold the true and only key to our own happiness. Those keys are deep within us and must be found. Until you find the love for yourself most loves outside yourself will be rocky at best. A constant struggle to maintain or even to just locate.

So when you feel there is a piece of you missing there most likely is but it isn't someone being in your life it is part of you that is missing. Fill that puzzle we call a heart with a piece of yourself. Learn to love you and understand yourself before looking for the person that adds to that wonderful heart of yours and not just completes it.

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