Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Religion, Spirituality, Faith & The Empath

This is a tough subject...probably because it touches so many of us at such a deep level.  Our spiritual beliefs are ones we hold close to our hearts and guard ardently.  They help define us and give our lives focus, meaning and purpose both as individuals and as communities.

And Empaths...well they come in all shapes and sizes when it comes to spiritual beliefs, from Christians to those who follow a more new age/metaphysical spiritual belief system...the range is endless.  You name it...and there is probably an Empath mixed in there somewhere.

Sitting here and thinking how best to say what I'm thinking...I think to myself that I can't tell you what to believe.  Because, in my own humble opinion, there is no right or wrong path...simply many paths to choose from.  But even that belief, the one that is mine, I do not wish to thrust on you.

And if I'm honest with...myself...and everyone else...I probably don't even want to touch this subject because its so diverse and open to heated debate.  And I have such deep respect for all faiths and spiritual beliefs, that....yeah, I don't wish to cause controversy.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Empaths & PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

"Trauma is so ingrained in us over time, it's hard to change the way we think." This is what someone said to me while we were talking about soldiers over in Afghanistan and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome). He went on to say, though, that it was doable....changeable with time.

And it got me thinking, yes about Soldiers, but more to the point...anyone who has suffered through long term trauma. Being someone who has suffered through something like that myself, I guess it struck a cord deep inside me. So I thought I'd offer you a fact sheet on PTSD.

You might be wondering what this has to do with being an Empath. But if you think about it, it's extremely reasonable, because alot of Empaths (not all by any means....but quite a few) come by their hypersensitivity through conditioning in their developmental years. What that means is that alot of Empaths have been abused in some way to cause them to be as hypersensitive as they are.

So this topic, like so many others on this blogsite, is an important one to take note of.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

An Empath's Perspective On Self Esteem, Inner Demons, & You

I think one of the biggest issues I had growing up was people telling me what was wrong with me.  Sure, there was also reinforcement of the positive things but....those things always seemed to get drowned out by the negative ones.

Some of those things were parental nagging.  You know the kind, "You are lazy!" or "Why can't you do better in school?".  Some were from friends who thought they knew me so well they could tell me exactly what was wrong with me, "You are a know-it-all!" or "You are so mean!".  (And yes, even I can be mean...lol)

The point here is that none of these people meant to do me any lasting harm with their words, because they certainly didn't mean to.  But what they didn't realize is that I had internal issues with self esteem which made every little negative comment hit me like an arrow to the heart that got repeated over and over again like a mantra in my head.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Confidence & Humility: A Lesson In Compassionate Empathy

Confidence and humility....two words that do not appear to be synonymous, much less have anything to do with Empathy or Empaths.  But let's delve a little deeper into this subject and see what we find.

First lets look at some definitions.  And then we'll move on to the deeper discussion.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Purpose Of Being An Empath

Let's talk about the purpose of being an Empath, because this seems to be a topic that alot of people have questions about. And we tend to find our answers in a myriad of places, some more reputable than others, as well as, some with the best of intentions and some...not so much.

First, let's be honest. Being an Empath is hard at even the best of times. Learning to cope with a flood of emotional undercurrents flowing all around you, not to mention into and out of you, can be mind numbing at times. Standing at the edge of a crowd and looking out can feel like having to cross an ocean with only your fingers crossed to keep you from drowning.

And this doesn't even begin to speak to how deeply you feel your own emotions and issues, does it? Those, coupled with the continual onslaught of emotions from elsewhere, can make you want to crawl into a closet or move to a cave and never come out.  It can make you feel like a hermit sometimes, secluding yourself away from the rest of society so you don't have to deal with that emotional weight that makes you feel like you will shatter.

Now, what is my point in bringing this up in a blog about the purpose of being an Empath?  Well, to find your purpose you have to first see and acknowledge what is going on in your life: the pain, your issues, the hypersensitivity that is overwhelming you.  So this part of the discussion holds an important place in discovering your true purpose as an Empath.  But I also know its one of the hardest parts, as well, because this is the one thing we struggle with the most.  It's also one of the biggest things we want to hide from the most, so we can focus on being happy...or at least appearing happy to the world around us as we struggle inside.

The Importance Of Being Earnest

In deciphering a purpose for yourself its of the utmost importance that you be earnest with yourself.  Because being an Empath doesn't mean you have a set course in front of you, as though you are starring down the barrel of a gun.  There is no inevitable outcome, as well.

What you most need to understand is that being an Empath doesn't preclude you from being anything else.  If you wish to be a doctor, then be a doctor.  If you wish to be a writer, then be a writer.  The point is, the natural talents and innate traits of an Empath will shine through in whatever you do, so you need not limit your scope of purpose to something that doesn't fit your own dreams and desires.  You don't have to set those things aside to follow a course of supposed altruism and outreach, because outreach can happen in all kinds of ways ~ even simply by writing a blog to offer information, support and comfort to others.  ^_^

Life doesn't have to be a struggle, as you attempt to fit your purpose into an ideal someone else imposed on you.  Take the idea of Buddhism and seeking enlightenment, or a higher state of being, and then understand I am saying this as a Buddhist.  You don't have to strive for that because someone else told you that is the purpose of an Empath, in any variation it might come in.

All you ever need to do is find what works for you and strive toward that.  And if it is Buddhism or enlightenment, more power to you.  If not, whatever it is, is equally good because it's what is right for you.  Because your purpose isn't about anyone else, anyone else's ideas of right and wrong, or anyone else's thoughts on the ideal purpose.  It's about you, what you want, and what you feel drawn to do with your life.

The only one who can set limits on that purpose is you.  So above all else, remember that.  There are limitless possibilities for you.  All you have to do is open yourself to them, because they are waiting for you.

The Hermit Of The Tarot

On a side note, I thought it'd be interesting to introduce you to the Hermit of the Tarot and what it means. Perhaps you will find some meaning in what I'm going to quote. Perhaps not. Either way....enjoy. ^_^

The Hermit

In The Hermit card, the 9th card of the Tarot, the teachers of the Ageless Wisdom are providing us with a future view of the outcome of our soul's successful struggle to reach the highest level of earthly/spiritual enlightenment possible... an attainment that is attributable to and obtainable through continued discipline, diligence and dedication to the laws of Divine living.

As we view the card, most of us get a sense that The Hermit is an isolated, solitary being, one who prefers a private existence apart from the extravagance and superficiality of materialistic living. Largely that's true, but the real message he wishes to impart is just how important it is for you and I (if we wish to reach his level of attainment) to set our values above materialism's fascinations and temporal attunements. Notice that he is pictured standing on the highest peak among the surrounding mountains. In his right hand he holds a lantern which appears to be lighting his way. Actually, the lantern's light is intended for seekers, others like you and I, who are still climbing and struggling up the mountainside below him. Notice that he is looking down, watching our progress. According to Carl Jung he is very concerned and most protective of our efforts. He is really that part of us, the Divine within, that is ready to provide us instant direction and truth. We havebut to go within... to ask for healing, guidance or forgiveness. For all who seek, loving support and enrichment will be returned to you many fold.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

What Is An Empath? Are There Empath Traits?

On this blogsite we've described what an Empath is numerous times using different methods. We've also found numerous ways to define Empathy, as well. But while we've used definitions, trait lists, examples, and so on to help elucidate what an Empath is, we've never really sat down and talked about what kind of people Empaths really are. (Forgive me if I'm mistaken on this, because there is so much information on this website even I forget some of the things I've written about...lmao).

What is an Empath? Let's talk about it. It feel like a HUGE question, particularly for this blogsite and its overall purpose.

What Is An Empath?

An Empath is someone who tends to be hypersensitive to the emotions and emotional states of others. But in saying this it does not mean an Empath will actually be empathic/empathetic toward others. It simply means they are more sensitive to the emotional undercurrents that surround them than other people.

An Empath is often someone who can be associated with other titles like HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and INFJ. What are these other ideas?

Well an HSP is a person, who comprise about a fifth of the population, having the innate trait of high psychological sensitivity and may process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems.

An INFJ, which is defined off of a Personality Test developed by Carl Jung, is defined thusly:

  • I – Introversion preferred to Extraversion: INFJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).
  • N – Intuition preferred to Sensing: INFJs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
  • F – Feeling preferred to Thinking: INFJs tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic.
  • J – Judgment preferred to Perception: INFJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability.

But I digress, you see even beyond these things empathy can be broken down into 3 basic ideas: Cognitive Empathy, Emotional Empathy, and Compassionate Empathy.

  • Cognitive Empathy: we recognize what another person is feeling
  • Emotional Empathy: we actually feel what the person is feeling
  • Compassionate Empathy: we want to help the person deal with their situation and emotions

To understand what an Empath really is, you need to understand these 3 simple ideas. This is because Empaths come in all shapes and sizes. They come with all kinds of different personality types. And they exhibit different levels of Empathy, just like normal people.

I had a friend recently tell me about how she described what an Empath is to a psychology friend. And she said basically it was empathy x 10. And while I agree the hypersensitivity an Empath experiences to emotional undercurrent around them is excessive sometimes, I don't believe the actual Empathy an Empath experiences is any more or less than anyone else at the Compassionate Empathy level. That is....unless they choose to make it so.

You see, the reason this becomes a choice is because of something called Empathic Concern. What is it?

Empathic concern refers to other-oriented emotions elicited by and congruent with the perceived welfare of someone in need. These other-oriented emotions include feelings of tenderness, sympathy, compassion, soft-heartedness, and the like. Empathic concern is often and wrongly confused with empathy.

To empathize is to respond to another's perceived emotional state by experiencing feeling of a similar sort. Empathic concern or sympathy not only include empathizing, but also entails having a positive regard or a non-fleeting concern for the other person.

Human beings are strongly motivated to be connected to others. In humans and other higher mammals, an impulse to care for offspring is almost certainly genetically hard-wired, although modifiable by circumstance.

A person can choose to show concern for another person, to in essence empathize with their plight and reach out a helping hand. They can also choose to walk on by and do nothing. And I would be remiss to say that either is the right choice, despite what might seem the obvious choice, because it's all about personal choice. And in that, we all must do what is right for us and not what is considered right by society and thrust upon us.

Traits Of An Empath

So are there traits of an Empath? Well, sure there are. But they are generic and fit any number of people who might have other problems and/or issues. I'll show you some:

16 Common Traits Of An Empath

1. Empaths are quiet achievers but expressive in area's of emotional connection. They find that talking about emotional issues is a great outlet that aids in understanding themselves and others.

2. Some empaths can be the opposite of what an empath 'should' be because they are overwhelmed or unable to handle emotion and what they feel in the world around them so they block their feelings.

3. They can be focused outward, toward what others feel, rather than themselves. This is a common trait to many people who have not gone through a process of self development.

4. They avoid disharmony caused by emotionally turbulent situations. This type of situation can easily create an uncomfortable feeling because an empath feels this emotion.

5. Empaths are emotionally sensitive to violence and general chaos.

6. Empaths are sensitive to loud noise and television. In particular, television programs that depict emotional drama like the news and police shows.

7. They struggle to comprehend acts of cruelty and crime that involves hurting others.>
8. They struggle to comprehend suffering in the world and are often idealists who theorize about fixing the worlds problems.

9. Are often found working as volunteers, with people, animals or the environment.

10. They are expressive so they can often be found in areas of music or the arts.

11. They often have the ability to draw others to them. This includes children and animals as they have a warmth and compassion that is beyond normal You may find that strangers always talk to you if you are an Empath.

12. They can be good listeners as they generally have an interest in other people.

13. Empaths can be moody or have large mood swings due to overwhelming thoughts, feelings and emotion.

14. They are likely to have had, other paranormal experiences in their life. This could be astral projection, psychic ability or a variety of other experiences.

15. Empaths are daydreamers that have difficulty keeping focused. This is common with people who deal more IN emotion and neglect other area's of their mind.

16. Like many people on a spiritual path Empaths frequently experience déjà vu and synchronicities. This is something that occurs to everyone however empaths are often more aware and therefore 'look out' for it.

These are some general traits of an Empath as described by the author of them, Aymen Fares. Are they wrong? Certainly not. But do they describe every kind of person who can be an Empath? No, they don't.

What are the real traits of an Empath?

Empaths come by their hypersensitivity in numerous ways. Some, sadly quite a few, come by it through being abused. Does this mean all Empaths are abused? No, not at all. But you see, when a person is consistantly in a state of fear of being harmed, particularly in their formative years (5-12 yrs old), the mind will find ways to cope with this. One way this occurs is by developing a sensitivity to the person who is harming them so that they are able to gauge that person's moods and temperaments. This ability can carry over into adulthood, even if the abuse stopped a long time ago. And it can become quite debilitating, bringing on bouts of high anxiety, agoraphobia, depression and other issues.

Empaths aren't just hypersensitive to the emotional undercurrents around them. They can also be highly emotional people themselves. And when in this state its easy to lose ability to discern where the Empath's emotions end and another person's emotions begin. Often times Empath's are highly prone to something called Emotional Contagion. Emotional Contagion is the tendency to catch and feel emotions that are similar to and influenced by those of others.

Empaths can have a very deep seeded fear of intimacy of any kind. And this can even translate into the bedroom. Intensity of feeling, due to hypersensitivity plus past issues of possible abuse, can cause them to push away from this desperately. But understand, it's not that they don't want to be loved, cherished, or to experience passion.

Empaths can use a form of escapism to leave behind the sharp edges of their harsh reality. Sometimes this is found in the metaphysical/new age arena. Spirits (even nasty ones), Soulmates, ideas like Christ Consciousness, Astral Projection, and a plethora of other ideas are easier to deal with than the reality that surrounds them on a daily basis. It acts as a kind of buffer that cushions them from the outside world and allows them to feel their own uniqueness.

Does this mean these things do not exist? No, it doesn't. I'm not here to judge the reality of such things and people's particular belief in them. I'm simply pointing out that sometimes these things can be used as a crutch to keep from dealing with their real issues.

Empaths can hold themselves to an extremely high standard calling themselves things like Lightworkers and Human Angels. And then they can set a purpose on themselves like fighting evil, the darkness, or people deemed as Psychic Feeders/Drainers, as though it is a war.

They can also focus outwardly so completely, as they go about helping people with their problems and being a salve to their emotional wounds, that they can completely forget about themselves in the process. And they can do this to the point of emotional exhaustion on their part. Even then, it can still feel like it's not enough.

These things tend to occur because alot of Empaths suffer from extremely low self esteem and find their value in serving others. And in moderation, this is a wonderful thing. But in excess, like anything else in life, it can be detrimental to the Empath.

Empaths can also be judgmental, cliquish, prejudicial, apathetic, drama queens, abusive, aggressive, and a whole bunch of other things to numerous to mention.

There is more I could write here, but even I admit as I reread this that it sounds slightly depressing, so I will refrain from adding more.

The main point I'm attempting to make here is that Empaths are human beings with human experiences, human emotions, human prejudices, and human issues. They suffer and they hurt. They can suffer from low self esteem. They can be as hateful as they can loving. And being an Empath doesn't mean that they will show empathic concern for others.

And while the first list of traits are indeed traits of an Empath, they aren't the only ones. They simply shine a light on the more positive aspects of being an Empath to entice you to adopt that title as your own. But being an Empath doesn't take away your real world problems. It doesn't set you apart from people. It doesn't make you different or special. It doesn't give you a greater or holier purpose than others. Only you can set yourself apart from or above others. And if you are honest with yourself, how does that offer others empathy when you do that?

Think about it.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Empath Credo & 24 Things To Always Remember

**If you wish to seem them in a larger format, please feel free to click on them to open them up in another tab/page to see them at their original size.**

The Empath Credo 

24 Things To Always Remember

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Empaths: Psychic Defense, Shielding, & More

Some of the biggest questions I get when I work with people are things like "How do I defend myself from eventually feeling drained?", "How do I shield?", and "Are there other things I can do beyond simply shielding?". So I thought I'd touch on this topic a little bit and offer you some links to different sites that I've found have helpful information and techniques.

Now these are, by far, not the only methods and techniques available to you. And you should never try something that makes you uncomfortable, because what works for one person might not work for another. And that's okay, because this is, first and foremost, all about you.

So lets look at topics like Psychic Defense and Grounding/Centering/Shielding. And then follow up with things like techniques for purifying and cleansing like smudging, stone usages for warding off negativity, and then oils/herbs.

Despite the source from which these links come, the techniques themselves can carry great value in your search for the ability to help yourself. I hope this helps. ^_^

Psychic Protection and Defense:

Grounding ~ Centering ~ Shielding:

Smudging and Cleansing :

Gem Stone Meanings

Herb Meanings

Oil Meanings (Aromatherapy)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Empaths: Gossip & Rumors

Let me ask you a question.  Have you ever had someone bend over, as you were sitting down going about your business, and whisper in your ear?  No....not romantically.  They are the bearers of  juicy news about someone you both know.  But whether or not it's true, or how much of it is true for that matter, is uncertain.

What was your reaction to what was being whispered to you?  Did you smile and laugh? Did you think something along the lines of, "Yeah, he/she WOULD do that!" or "They are such a Bitch/Bastard!"?  In other words, did you agree with the opinions expressed alongside the juicy bit of news being passed on?  Was it funny? Did you feel like the person being gossiped about deserved it?

Alot of the time, when this happens it's intent is harmless enough.  People talk and generally, when they do,  they talk about the people they have in common with one another.  And the information gets stored in the brain as 'hmm interesting information' to be forgotten or only vaguely remembered later on.

Other times, gossip can take hold and be passed from person to person getting worse and worse as it travels from mouth to ear to mouth.

Have you ever played a game, or heard of a game, where kids sit in a circle and one person starts with a single statement like 'the goose plays in the pond' and pass it around by whispering it into the ear of the person sitting next to them?
And as it travels from child to child, it statement mutates into something else.  Perhaps one child changes it from a goose to a duck.  And then another child changes it from a pond to a park.  And yet another child adds toys to it.  By the time it reaches the ears of the first child, it's completely different.  Well, that is essentially gossip.

But what is gossip specifically and what is it used for most of the time?  Hmm...let's see, shall we?


What is gossip?

Gossip is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It forms one of the oldest and most common means of sharing (unproven) facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information transmitted. The term also carries implications that the news so transmitted (usually) has a personal or trivial nature, as opposed to normal conversation.

What function does gossip serve?
  • normalise and reinforce moral boundaries in a speech-community
  • foster and build a sense of community with shared interests and information
  • build structures of social accountability
  • further mutual social grooming (like many other uses of language, only more so)
  • provide a mating tool that allows (for example) women to mutually identify socially desirable men and compare notes on which men are better than others.
  • be used as a form of passive aggression, as a tool to isolate and harm others
  • provide a peer-to-peer mechanism for disseminating information in organizations

Are there different types of gossip?

Sure...let's look at some because some of them can be more harmful than others.

Gossip And Rumors: Different Types

  • Slander is when people spread rumors or lies about a person in order to purposely cause pain or damage. Maybe they want to see this person humiliated or turn others against him or her. They make up lies or pass on embarrassing rumors that probably aren’t true.
  • Most of the time, we only hear the word “slander” associated with adult conflicts, but it applies to young people as well.
  • When slander is in written form, it’s called libel. You’ve probably heard lots of stories about celebs suing tabloid newspapers because the papers have published libel against them. The celebs usually win!
  • Slander is one of the most dangerous types of rumors, because the whole point is to hurt somebody.
  • An example: “Teresa is a big cheat. She cheats off anyone she sits next to, so don’t ever sit near her.” This is hurtful to Teresa because not only is she being accused of doing something against the rules, her friends may stop sitting with her in class.
  • You may hear people say, ”Give me the dish!” or “Let’s dish the dirt!” Dishing is another word for gossiping, and a kind of general spreading of rumors and gossip that people don’t usually think twice about.
  • It’s a little different than slander, because most of the time, people don’t dish with the aim of causing someone pain and humiliation. However, sometimes it does just that.
  • An example: “I asked Jenny what it was like to hold Andrew’s hand, and she said it was all clammy and sweaty.” This was probably an innocent question and answer driven by curiosity, but if it gets back to Andrew, he’ll feel totally embarrassed!
Fears or Concerns
  • Many rumors tap into people’s common fears, and this makes them sound true even though they usually are not.
  • These are often rumors that involve the threat of physical danger, the unknown and unfamiliar, and things that are gross or way-out weird.
  • An example: “I hear that the cafeteria meatloaf is made from rats they catch in the school basement.”
Jokes or Wild Stories
  • Sometimes rumors start out as silly jokes, then get spread around and changed over and over again. When lots of people are telling the same tale, it makes it seem more like the truth. You might think, “How can all these people be wrong?”
  • When these rumors last long enough and spread far enough, they actually become part of our culture, often called “Urban Legends,” “Modern Legends,” or “Urban Myths.”
  • An example: “Did you hear that when it’s halftime at the Super Bowl, water supplies across the U.S. get used up? It’s because of all the people going to the bathroom at the same time!”
  • Many rumors are just about people getting things wrong, or believing in exaggerations. Often people will swear up and down that they know something to be true when, in reality, they’re just passing on a rumor they’ve heard from someone.
  • An example of a rumor that’s just misinformation: “I heard that it’s okay to drive five miles an hour above the speed limit. The police can’t give you a ticket unless you go faster than that.” For the record, this is not true. The speed limit is the speed limit, but this rumor is so widespread that people often use it as an excuse with police officers who are writing them speeding tickets!
  • If you’ve ever heard something juicy in an online chat room or in an IM from a friend, you know that the Internet has made it easy to spread a rumor to lots of people with lightning-fast speed. “Cyber-gossip” can involve any of the other types mentioned here.
  • It’s easy for people to feel less responsible when starting a rumor online, especially if they’re able to do it anonymously. Remember that starting a rumor this way, or passing it on, can be even more damaging than if it’s done in person because of how many eyes it can reach in a short period of time.
  • A hurtful rumor that’s spread through cyber-gossip should be taken just as seriously as any other kind of rumor. 

So now that we understand what gossip is, its function, and the different types of gossip that exist, let me ask you this.  Have you ever been a victim of gossip or rumors?  Has anyone ever maligned your character?  How about sharing information  about you that gets taken out of context?

And how did that impact you?  Did it hurt?  Did it make people look at you differently?  Did it make you want to crawl into a hole and die of shame?

The vast majority of people in the world today, whether they answer truthfully or not, have probably been through some level of this issue and suffered for it. Contrary wise, though, the same amount can also be said to be the perpetrators of gossip and spreading rumors, as well.  Hmm...interesting isn't it?

Excuses For Gossip

Have you ever heard someone make an excuse for gossiping?  How about trying to deny it when they are confronted by an accusation of spreading rumors with ill intent?

And of course the excuses range from the simplest forms of "I didn't do it." to justifications of their right to do it, even by changing its name from something like gossiping to networking.

Alot of the time excuses are made because the people who spread rumors and gossip about others, when confronted about their behavior, feel some level of shame.  And they are generally caught off guard when an accusation occurs so they stammer out the first thing that pops into their minds.

Anything in this case could be used as a reasonable excuse, even biblical quotes. And this is done in order to justify the behavior they are being confronted about.

From there it's not a far cry for the person being confronted to jump into their actual reasons for the gossip.  This is a form of lashing out at the person confronting them, to shift the blame off themselves and onto the other person.

The thought occurs that if they can list all of the other person's sins, then their own behavior will be whitewashed in comparison or deemed more acceptable. 

This is, by far, not the only reaction one will get when one confronts another person about gossip.  But it is one of the most common reactions, as well.

Empaths and Gossip

Now, after reading all of this perhaps you are wondering what was the point? And honestly, what does this have to do with being an Empath, a person who is purported to be highly sensitive to the emotions and emotional states of others?  Well, let's explore that a bit.

Empaths, simply put, aren't above spreading rumors and gossiping about people, despite how sensitive they are to other people.  Because above being an Empath, they are people ~ human beings.  And since this is an issue of human nature and not one specific to just Empaths....well, it applies to all of us, Empath and Non-Empath alike.

Being an Empath doesn't keep you from being a victim of rumors anymore than it holds your tongue from speaking harshly about others or spreading rumors about them.  So as much as we, as Empaths, might wish to see ourselves above this, the reality is you aren't.  And that's the point of this discussion.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fool's Paradise

This Title it self speaks about whom I am going to address in this post. Recently I came across a specific person who by some means found the word 'Empath'. One of her friends spoke to her about how she feels and how she found her inner self and how she educated herself. Now comes the real story, This acquaintance of mine researched all the material over the internet, read some books, blogs and articles and matched every thing and concluded that she is an Empath. I still find it difficult to digest the fact myself, as her empathic nature is very qualified and useful only for her selfish needs.

She bullies her parents and forces them to baby sit her kid and does not respect anyone. She can speak for hours about how empathic she is and how she cried over the news of a baby's death in local news paper. In reality she ignores the difficulties of everyone around and she thinks they should serve her. She can even make you think that we enjoy what ever we do for her and it is best for us.

She talks about all the topics she read online, as her own and presents herself as an Empath. And while in public she uses her memory power to mesmerize people with answers she read online. But none applies to her .. She only preaches and never follows. She can bring rolls of rules for what people should be doing for her. I even found her depressed and fearing at times for topics she read which she assumes will happen to her in a while. I can bet she hardly understands the difference between intuition and imagination.

She can positively tell everyone what the other is feeling and even picks out Empaths from the crowd and surprise them. She is proud of being an Empath now. Well the point is she is a kind of woman who can sit in a room and if feel depressed will start thinking that moon on her last day can make her cranky, and her cat is watching a ghost right now and if she is depressed she will curse her co worker for exerting  negative vibes which come right from that direction and at specific intervals.

I am not here to discuss the amount of sensitivity a person can have. But we must remember that our sensitivity is relative and with so many people and so much happening around, unless we are very certain, we should never reach to quick conclusions and judge people and imagine things.

By being an Empath is a special nature of understanding people and if willing and capable should help others and not to take advantage or imagine ourselves as angels walking on the land just above everyone else.

For some people the realities are different. They may be facing difficult times being unable to handle their own skills. They need guidance and proper direction. Those who are in real need please beware of this kind of fools who can even hug you and keep their hands on you saying they even can heal you. They don't even exert good intent or even can direct some positive energy towards you. Take time to truly identify the person. It is not by words that people can be identified. It is their constant behavior towards others and self that reveals their true identity. Only confess and trust people whom you know for years and whose Character and attitude is unbiased.

Being Emphatic is not a fashion statement. And it is true that people can possess skills even with all the bad qualities in them. But please read the posts in this blog properly and decide whether you are mature enough to be an Empath and know why you are embracing Empathy? It is not possible to have all the skills that are mentioned in this blog. The percentage is varied and subjective.

Being an Empath is not like having invisible wings and that we are extra special and we can treat others like 'the insignificant'. Many people who did n't yet embraced their own self are still among us unaware or not yet ready to accept the fact. We accepted the fact only means we are dutiful to ourselves and others. And it includes mature understanding of the facts. If you are one such fool My advice is, 'please humble yourself and some skills shine only with humility'.

Knowing the fact of being an Empath is like learning how to read. Now the whole school education is before us. We either can deny the whole thing or start our kindergarten today and please open your windows and see the fact of being alive in the real paradise.

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