Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Longing

Longing....it's an interesting word, isn't it?  It simply means: a strong persistent yearning or desire, especially one that cannot be fulfilled. To yearn for something, to desire it, to long for it like nothing else in the world.  But when you get beneath the definition of the word, it raises within a person all kinds of things...memories, unfulfilled yearnings, instant gratification, pleasure, joy, envy, guilt, shame and even anger.  That word alone, longing, can take you on a journey deep into yourself through your past, present, and even into the future.

I used to feel this pang of longing echoing through me...of loneliness...for freedom...for love....for understanding.  I longed for a place to rest my weary head after a long and painful journey.  I longed for a sanctuary to call  my own....a light in the darkness.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Empathy In Diversity

Sometimes it can extremely hard to understand another person. This is particularly true when one comes up against cultural and/or religious differences, as well as, language barriers in a more international setting. But, this can also be the case within singular communities and local settings.

Take the United States, for instance. It is a country full of many different cultures, religions, languages, and moral mindsets. Within it, one does not even have to leave it's borders to come upon all kinds of diversity. So the question becomes, how do we show empathy through diversity, despite it's differences, situation and setting? How do we interact with others so that everyone feels as though they have been offered equal consideration and respect? And how do we stymie our own cultural/religious/moral mindsets, that tend to color our perceptions of the world around us and can sometimes prejudice us against others for any perceived differences, as we interact with such the diverse group of people that surround us? Let's look at this closer, shall we?


Saturday, August 14, 2010

Empaths In Love: Through The Eyes Of The Empath

One of the biggest questions I get asked about pertains to Empaths in romantic relationships, Empaths in love, as it were. And as I listen to many people describe their situations to me, I often note a trend that is common for quite a few people. This trend begins with the personality of the Empath, so let's explore that in a bit more detail first before we move on to the main focus of this blog.

An Empath is one who tends to be categorized as a healer, a counselor, a friend, a natural nurturer, and a people pleaser. They are gentle, soft spoken, caring, and give of themselves without reserve...even to their own detriment at times. They are observant and hypersensitive to the needs, wants and desires of others. And they have a wish to avoid conflict through mediation.(Note: this is a generalized assessment of Empath traits and does not speak to everyone)

At the heart of this description, there is more to be seen beneath the surface, though. Often times people who exhibit these kinds of behaviors also carry with them a very low sense of their own self worth. With very low self esteem, they are prone to bouts of depression, isolation, anxiety, and codependency on others.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Art Of Being An Empath: Empathy & Assertiveness

Empathy is defined as the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner. In other words, Empathy is the ability to share in another person's experiences, perceptions and emotions.

There is an art to being empathetic toward others. This is because it takes great compassion for another person to willingly step away from their own personal perceptions of the world, essentially setting aside their ego, enough to step into another person's perceptions of the world, which include emotional levels, physical levels, and intellectual levels. The willingness to do this, as much as the actual ability to do this, take great conviction, because it then asks the person empathizing to open themselves up to a whole new way of seeing the world, through someone else's eyes.

Assertiveness is defined as being confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views. In other words, Assertiveness is simply standing up for yourself, speaking up for your rights, and effectively expressing your wishes, ideas and concerns. But in doing this, one does it with consideration to others through the act of being respectful of other people's personal boundaries and emotions.

There is an art to being assertive. This is because it is a kind of balancing act between being considerate and respectful of other people's feelings and your own needs. It is very distinct from being passive and aggressive because of this dual focus of balancing your needs with those of others.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Toxic People: Recognizing & Dealing With Them

One of the biggest issues people, that I've run into, sometimes have, as Empaths, is that of dealing with Toxic People.  I've heard topics as wide ranging as the types of people they draw to themselves who they feel are toxic to their own inability to deal with these kinds of people.  I've heard them talk about feelings of anxiety, fear, stress, anger, judgment, depression, hopelessness and more negatively charged emotions, that they either feel from the other person pressing in on them or tend to begin to emulate through long term interaction with these types of people.  And I've watched as long term interaction with such toxic types of people have cause others to change their perception of the world; morphing it into one of apathy, prejudice and/or judgment.

Now, with that being said, I would say this it is an unavoidable truth that when certain types of personalities come together, they do not mesh well.  Some are naturally more dominating, aggressive, assertive, and/or predatory than others.While others are more passive and are easily dominated in during an interaction.  And while it may seem to onlookers as though they mesh well on the surface, one tending to be more submissive while the other more dominant, this is often not the case.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Empathic Shielding Resources

In the blog Empaths: Psychic Defense, Shielding and More we explored ideas of psychic defense, grounding, centering and shielding, as well as, tools to help further these pursuits. In this blog, we will explore this topic a bit more with resources specifically meant for Empaths.

Feel free to use them or not, because some of these things might work better for you than others. So only utilize the things that you feel comfortable with doing.

Inner Demons Of Empathy: Gift Or Curse?

When you think of demons, you probably think of things that stalk the night, haunt houses, and torment people. You probably get goosebumps as you imagine the evil. You might even think about evil incarnate, or the Devil (if you believe in such an entity).

And you would be right to have some innate fear of such things. They are the unknown. They are the things hidden in the shadows and darkness, that can potentially hurt us. And the very word 'demon' screams danger, doesn't it? It causes warning bells to go off in your head that make you want to push away from it. And that's normal.