Saturday, April 30, 2011

Bullying: Reclaiming Your Journey

When I was 16 and in high school, I had a boyfriend come to my door and tell me he was going to run away and commit suicide.  After he left, my parents woke up and found me panicking and made me call the police. Soon after that the police pulled me out of class to talk to me.  It was then that I found out he was a chronic runaway who was heavily abused....and that he wasn't going to kill himself.  So they wanted his whereabouts.

Because of what I did, I became a pariah amongst my friends.  I was ostracized and gossiped about.  And it reached its pinnacle one day at lunch right by the main office of the school.  A group of about 20 students from the crowd I hung out with came up to me simply to tell me what a piece of crap I was.

I stood there, with one friend by my side, while these people verbally ripped me to shreds.  And the only thing I can say is that I never once let them see me cry, even though it crushed me like nothing else had up until that time.  I stood my ground and only let loose a torrent of tears after they were away from me and couldn't see me shed them.  This was because I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing just how much they had wounded me.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Journey To Closure

Recent events in my life have brought me to the point where I must acknowledge I am searching for solace and am in need of closure. And it's had me a broader sense...of how each of us comes to a point in our lives where we are forced to seek closure to toxic relationships and oppressive situations. These relationships and situations do nothing but tear us down, slowly eroding our self esteem, our personal boundaries, and most important of all, our emotional stability and mental health.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lying and The Empathic Truthsayer

The Truthsayer

An interesting byproduct of being highly empathic seems to be that one can become a sort of truthsayer...or living lie detector.  What this means is that the highly empathic person can easily discern whether or not a person is telling the truth or not and if they are dissembling in respect to motives, feelings and/or beliefs.

This byproduct, as it were, seems to be derived from the Empath's ability to read another person's emotions and emotional states.  In other words, because a highly empathic person is well attuned toward sensing and feeling the overall emotional state of all of those around themselves, almost constantly, the person in question begins to develop a deeper interpersonal intelligence.  Interpersonal intelligence is, by definition, the ability to interact with others, understand them, and interpret their behavior.  Individuals who exhibit a level of interpersonal intelligence,  have the particular ability to perceive the moods, temperaments, motivations and intentions of others.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Trust & Empathy

On this website, we often talk about empathy and all of the different issues that are associated with it, directly or indirectly. One such issue, we generally only touch upon indirectly, is that of trust. You see, empathy and trust go hand in hand as a platform for effective communication, understanding and relationships.

Empathy is about understanding another person's point of view. And part of the empathic process is about establishing trust through listening, without judgment, and offering understanding, even when one personally disagrees with the other person. All of this is done in order to develop a rapport with another person, in order to interact with them on equal footing.

In earnestly listening, without judgment, and offering understanding to the other person, even if we personally disagree with them, we offer them a level of respect as we communicate effectively with them. And respect, by meeting others on equal footing, is a basis for establishing both trust and empathy.