Tuesday, June 15, 2021

The Multifaceted World of Empathy

 Imagine, if you will, being someone who can see people for who they are on multiple levels. Someone who can have 8 different points of view all at once without getting them confused, and at the same time, allowing it to look deeper into those around you. It sounds like magic, divinity, like a ruse, or even straight up BS. But what if it isn't? What if it isn't magic or divine? And what if it isn't a ruse or BS? What if it isn't supernatural, ethereal, metaphysical, alien, or anything else? 

What if the world of Empathy is a kind of challenge we all face as a species? You see empathy is the ability to see through another person's eyes, feel what they feel, and walk in their shoes. It can have both healthy and unhealthy forms through compassion, kindness, codependence and jealousy depending on what it feelings and desire it inspires within the person that is placing themselves in another person's shoes. 

The first rule of Empathy World is, know yourself to know others.  There is an entire world that starts from understanding who you are and accepting all of those things about yourself that shame you, make you afraid, and that cause you anxiety. The more you understand about those things in you, the more you will understand about others, what makes them afraid, what causes them anxiety, and what drives them to do the things they do, both positive and negative. This is because people are often reflections of one another, via feelings, emotions, and experiences, even when they are not exactly the same. There is an undertone of similarity and familiarity despite differences that drives empathy. 

The second rule of Empathy World is, recognize that cultural empathy is on a much larger scale than the one-on-one scale that we usually have to contend with in our daily lives. Cultural Empathy asks the person to set aside prejudices, stereotypes, assumptions, and other things that could cause issues during interactions between cultural. It means, at the very least, being willing to be tolerant of different religious beliefs, completely different ways of viewing the world, child rearing, environments and food resources, political views, and many other ideals. In saying "tolerant", the hope is that you can be accepting of them, but tolerant at least. And at the same time, meet them at where they are at, without the expectation that they must come to where you are. That means you come to each person with respect and a modicum of humility and acceptance. It doesn't mean you have to agree with their beliefs and their ideals. 

The third rule of Empathy World is a question. If we reflect one another, what are you reflecting? What do you see in others that you associate with yourself? Remember that the journey of empathy is one of growth, for yourself as much as for others. We are students as well as teachers, and our teachers and lessons are all around us, if we are humble enough to open ourselves to them. 

Thursday, October 10, 2019

A Simple Message

I'm never sure who this blog touches or if it reaches anyone. I leave it up in case people are searching for information, are in need, and can't and/or don't want to pay for the information. I think that it is important to have stuff like this out there for anyone who is looking. That being said, I'm not going to make this a long blog.  I have something simple I want to share with each and every one of you.

Remember you are Not Alone and You Matter! 💙

Friday, July 19, 2019

The Simple Concept of Empathy

It's been a long time since I've come to my blog to write. I do most of my work on Facebook now and I enjoy the people that come there. But sometimes I miss the freedom of being able to speak about what I want to talk about to the depth I want to take it. There is a nuanced simplicity in sharing within the confines of Facebook that one doesn't necessarily find here. Here there is space to delve and refine ideas beyond a singular focal point and expand upon it, so that we can explore ideas (hopefully together). That being said, on to the topic at hand. 

Empathy seems like a simple concept, doesn't it? Emotional empathy is feeling what others feel. Cognitive empathy is imaginatively placing yourself into the shoes of another person to see from their perspective, effectively reflecting their experiences through some variation of your own. And Compassionate empathy (Empathic Concern) is enacting to help the other person in order to resolve the problem (even if that is simply by being a willing shoulder to cry on and ear to listen). 

Sunday, September 30, 2018

An Interview with a rapist..

I stumbled upon the interview with a rapist
My conscience questioned me in the first second
Why are you watching this?
Is he a scholar or a priest ?
You can smell him from a mile and change your path
I won't name it an animal cause it can insult that animal.
Don't ever even think of smelling it.. cause its stinks so bad , it will leave a scar ..

Friday, October 21, 2016

A Word: Empath

I awoke this morning to find the most beautiful spider web gracing the glass door in my office. It glistened with fluid movement as it danced in the breeze of the early morning and the sun shown down upon it, in all its gloriously radiant countenance.

And it got me to thinking, reminiscing really, about the past and where it meets the present and then wanders off into the future. It's so much like the point where two glistening threads meet on a web, you see, because they sustain each other like a bridge through time pointing out where we have been upon our journeys in life, where we are now, and where we will potentially be in the future.

And I am reminded of one particular moment in my life...the moment I discovered the word Empath. I was about 16 or 17 at the time. Up till that point, I had considered myself overly sensitive or highly emotional. That one word changed my way of seeing myself, the world around me, and ultimately how I interacted within that world, though. It became a shroud I could wear to comfort myself, particularly when others didn't seem to be able to or want to understand me.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015


As I read the news, My spine began to tremble, A strange sensation creeped in my arms and they became restless. Anger and fear confused me and I crossed my limbs. For several days, that news haunted me. How that helpless girl was raped and how her life ended in coma. News like that is everywhere now on facebook, tv, newspapers, rumors, discussions.

Do people suddenly started becoming violent ? Or people are supplied with unnecessary information? Are we safe? Are our children safe? What will happen to earth? This over population, Genetically engineered viruses? epidemics? global warming? porn? So many...

Being an empath and sometimes an emotional sponge, we absorb energies around us. Many people while they read such news they experience the emotions of that situation and some even experience physical reactions to that situation. Eventually leading to suffering.

Our history is filled with blood and violence. There is no need for a debate whether Monsters existed today or yesterday? They were always there. But it is true that the information that is advertised today is filled with fear. Sometimes we can avoid such news, but completely eliminating the www era of information is impossible. People are losing hope and they are scared.

Lets not lose hope. Lets raise ourselves above this. And lets start believing and tame our fears. When ever you read such news or when ever you are around a person who is confused and scared and lost its hope, Please transmit hope and make them feel better, you don't need to converse verbally but internally transmit that energy.

Do something to help them overcome those negative emotions. Some people help people in need, while others donate money, If you cannot do anything like that, just pray and wish and more than that believe. Don't lose hope. Everyone is filled with fear, but it is not a solution.

Being an empath can be a curse and it can be turned into a blessing too. We are like transmitters. We not only can receive but also transmit information.We are capable of transmitting our negative energies too, So being an empath, I want you to believe and transmit the positive instead.  

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Take charge.

The best path to inner peace is by conquering your emotions. I'm not suggesting eliminating them entirely- I'm not /quite/ foolish enough to think humanity can get rid of the one thing that makes such tragic, flawed, yet impossibly beautiful creatures. There is a way to make your emotions work /for/ you, rather than letting them rule you.

It comes down to two simple words: everything fades. Here's a simple example.

You come home after a long day of work, only to find someone has broken into your home, stolen your television and replaced it with a massive, wall-spanning, HD monstrosity- clearly an upgrade. Your surprise benefactor has even gone to the trouble of hooking up cable for you. As you examine your new shiny, you find a note explaining that said excessively large television will only last a month before it breaks down on you.

One month. Do you spend that month worrying about the ultimate fate of your new precious? Do you spend that month in anger, silently cursing your 'benefactor' for not gifting you a more reliable model? Or do you make the most of that month, enjoying your new best friend and adamantly refusing to get off the couch for anything short of a house fire?

Of course, you only have a month and of course, you'll have to find a replacement when the time comes... But that's life. In most cases, we don't have a set 'expiration date' on the events we experience. They come out of the blue and smack us in the face with some valuable life lesson or another. It's up to each of us to avoid being lost in the storm of emotions and use them to learn those lessons.

Every emotion has its place, and each has something to teach you. Don't be afraid of those lessons. If they turn out to be less than pleasant? Well, life can be less than pleasant at times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Above all else, don't be afraid to take a risk.

To put it simply, emotions can be either your most powerful tool or your greatest enemy. It's all a matter of who's in charge.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Arachnid: Potentials Of Perception

              It was a cool balmy spring day as Emily sat with her friend, Robert, in a couple of overstuffed mix-matched chairs, drinking coffee and talking.  It was their weekly ritual to stake out a place for themselves around lunch time at the local coffee shop.  Sunlight streamed into the tiny shop through its floor to ceiling windows, glinting off the glass tabletop between Emily and Robert.  The sudden flash of light instantly reminded her that she had something she desperately wanted to talk to Robert about.  Reaching over, Emily caught her friend’s attention by waving her hand excitedly in his face.  Seeing him look up from his coffee mug, she started relating her story to him.  

Abuse: A Memory Lost To Time


There was a time in my life, which dwells far into my history, even as it feels as though it were only yesterday.  I was fresh out of high school and just out of a horribly turbulent and abusive relationship.  But despite my escape, it still ate away at everything positive I saw inside myself.  It eroded my self-esteem and stymied my dreams, dropping the last shreds of hope I had into a chaotic abyss that I subsequently lost myself in.  During that bleak time in my life, while I drowned in a sea of overwhelming emotions and confusion, I rediscovered something I had lost.  It came in the guise of a child, shining like a beacon in the darkness.  That sliver of gently illuminated hope offered me a reason to go on living and a reason to push forward in my life, instead of just lying in the muck as I was so used to doing.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Perspective Ramblings: The Fall Of Man

I have watched, over the few years I've been alive, the suffering people go through.  And often, to often if I may say so, I've found myself wondering what's the point.  Why do people get sick?  Why do people suffer at the hands of other people....abuses so numerous that it would take to many blogs to list.  Why do people wither away slowly, only to find their last moments engulfed in an unending fear of the unknown?

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Empaths & Sexuality: A Look At Empath Sexual Dysfunction

Let's talk about sexuality and being an Empath/Highly Sensitive Person.  This is an issue we all suffer from, in one way or another, and yet tend to be to afraid, nervous, anxiety ridden, or embittered to talk about.  And it's one that is extremely important when it comes to being able to have healthy relationships and a healthy self esteem.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Empathy In Excess

A dear friend of mine recently showed me a question someone had posted on the internet, asking a very interesting question about Empaths.  Does excessive empathy, or more to the point  being an Empath, mean that you will be lonely for the rest of your life because you give more and/or feel more than other people? This is a complex question, so lets explore it a bit.

Friday, January 13, 2012

10 Tips To Being More Assertive

While reading a blog I discovered this list of tips to help one be more assertive without being aggressive.  I felt they were really worthy of reposting here. Below are 10 tips that can help you be more assertive.  Enjoy!

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Empathy Of Nothing

"I am nothing.  I am nobody.  I am garbage.  I am a waste of space.  The air that I breath is wasted and would be better spent on someone more worthy than I.  My very existence has no purpose....no meaning...other than to be a burden upon others."

It's comments like these that repel people.  It smacks of low self esteem and low self worth, doesn't it?  These are the words, often whispered in the voices of those who have cut us down verbally before, that repeat, almost like a mantra, in our heads in order to hold us back.

The ironic thing about this is upon hearing these comments, whether from someone else's lips or from our own brains, our survival skills kick in.  A kind of flight or fight response ensues, in which we deny it emphatically and jump to our own defense.  And in so doing, we seek to convince ourselves of it's untruth, much more than others, because the simple accusation laid to bear is enough to crack the safe box of reality we wrap ourselves in, where we deny any flaws or issues we might have.  It hides the question that no one, not even those considered to have high self esteem, wishes to face.  What if those whispers are right?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Inquisitive thought inspired by the stop of time
Long lost meaning bleeding through the pages line by line
The ink gives structure to an otherwise confusing reality,
Drawing blood from the perception of mortality while
Simultaneously existing in a world fixed in duality.

An angel smiles at the dawning of the day
A voiceless whisper illuminates me back to guide my way
Her crystal tears wash away yesterdays sin
Sweeps it up in in the soft and gentle hands of the wind,
Never Again to reflected on the face of my kin.

Purple highlights entangles in a blaze of orange glow
Minute by minute, second by second I began to let go
Echoes of a dream reflected in her shine
Line by line Illustrated in this painted rhyme

Moment by moment the constellations began to die
Your song the hymn as the stars start to cry
A vision of light rips realities seam
A path illuminated by a crystal beam
Shows me the way back from this dream

Ever so slowly I began to understand
Your voice was the light that took me by the hand
Twisting my perception you continuously call me home
Behind the restrictions of life that have become overgrown
Reminding me always... your never alone.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Empath Community and I

About four years ago I was looking up the word Empath, hoping to find a place where I could meet other people like myself. I did that periodically over the years I've been online...usually to no avail. But this time I came across a place called Empath Community.

It's owner embraced me, as did it's members. And after sometime, it felt like a second home and my connection with those people much like a close nit family. We laughed together. We cried together. And we learned with one another through study and sharing. Even now, years later, each and every one of those people, from owner to lurkers, still mean a great deal to me for what each of them, in turn, offered to me by way of friendship, compassion, understanding and friendship. They were my teachers and my guides along the road of self discovery that I walked. And quite a few of them were the inspiration for many of the blogs on EP.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Is Empathy Really a Gift?

Is Empathy Really a Gift?

     A lot of people believe Empathy is a gift. I don’t go that far, I just identify with the term in a lot of different ways but the bottom line is that empathy is a natural part of me. I could chalk all this up to semantics but in my experience, people really embody the term empathy. This spiritual actualization deserves a closer look.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Deconstructing the Highly Sensitive Person: Part Two

Earlier I wrote the first part of this blog series, you can find it here. This blog is more of a personal nature. I examined the archetypal empath from many perspectives, mostly scientific and psychological, but there was very little of an actual HSP inside. This blog is the other half. The yin to it's yang.

A more apt title would probably be: Confessions of  a Highly Sensitive Person

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Spare some change?

“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
-Mahatma Ghandi

The word 'change' frightens many people. Maybe it's because of its connection to the word 'chaos', maybe it's because of humanity's innate fear of the unknown. Let's be honest here, we're all afraid that one day, we'll wake up and our life as we know it will be turned on its head. People naturally prefer the safety and comfort of what they know over the vast, deep, dark unknown.

Here's an interesting fact about change, though: add the word 'life' as a prefix, and suddenly it becomes much less terrifying. This simple word, once synonomous with chaos and unpredictability, becomes synonomous with growth and personal development. If stagnation is the greatest enemy of mankind, most of us seek that one experience in life that 'throws open the doors' so to speak. Call it what you will: enlightenment, a personal connection to God, the love of your friends and family, or simply the realization that maybe, just maybe, you don't have it as bad as you think. It all boils down to this: we all seek that one pivotal life-changing moment.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Bullying: Reclaiming Your Journey

When I was 16 and in high school, I had a boyfriend come to my door and tell me he was going to run away and commit suicide.  After he left, my parents woke up and found me panicking and made me call the police. Soon after that the police pulled me out of class to talk to me.  It was then that I found out he was a chronic runaway who was heavily abused....and that he wasn't going to kill himself.  So they wanted his whereabouts.

Because of what I did, I became a pariah amongst my friends.  I was ostracized and gossiped about.  And it reached its pinnacle one day at lunch right by the main office of the school.  A group of about 20 students from the crowd I hung out with came up to me simply to tell me what a piece of crap I was.

I stood there, with one friend by my side, while these people verbally ripped me to shreds.  And the only thing I can say is that I never once let them see me cry, even though it crushed me like nothing else had up until that time.  I stood my ground and only let loose a torrent of tears after they were away from me and couldn't see me shed them.  This was because I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing just how much they had wounded me.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Journey To Closure

Recent events in my life have brought me to the point where I must acknowledge I am searching for solace and am in need of closure. And it's had me thinking....in a broader sense...of how each of us comes to a point in our lives where we are forced to seek closure to toxic relationships and oppressive situations. These relationships and situations do nothing but tear us down, slowly eroding our self esteem, our personal boundaries, and most important of all, our emotional stability and mental health.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lying and The Empathic Truthsayer

The Truthsayer

An interesting byproduct of being highly empathic seems to be that one can become a sort of truthsayer...or living lie detector.  What this means is that the highly empathic person can easily discern whether or not a person is telling the truth or not and if they are dissembling in respect to motives, feelings and/or beliefs.

This byproduct, as it were, seems to be derived from the Empath's ability to read another person's emotions and emotional states.  In other words, because a highly empathic person is well attuned toward sensing and feeling the overall emotional state of all of those around themselves, almost constantly, the person in question begins to develop a deeper interpersonal intelligence.  Interpersonal intelligence is, by definition, the ability to interact with others, understand them, and interpret their behavior.  Individuals who exhibit a level of interpersonal intelligence,  have the particular ability to perceive the moods, temperaments, motivations and intentions of others.